I'm honest. ;p... and I'm ignoring spelling mistakes. But I love you! believe it.
"Fakeness, which prevails
is not suited to one
or the preference of two
but in masses, in unison
it exists in a great few:"
well already here in your introduction you contradict yourself, but lets peg that down to artistic license... I guess. (at very best it's ambiguous, but I suppose you know that since you want us to decipher it, however simplistic) Several leaps in grammar.... skipping over grammatical logic but that's whatever. Artistic license. Whatever.
"Its brandishers who broadcast their grandstand intent"
no one fake brandishes their true intent; this is doublethink.
"who proclaim and parade yet conceal discontent;
a more fictious assumption than a real detriment."
possibly referring to a developmental or emotional disorder which causes the lies, definitely would apply to a narcissistic personality disorder.
"To many, it discomforts, it aches and annoys"
Those affected by such evil people?
"Their ambition in direction not of intellectual poise."
Simply put: not wanting to be clever. I have no idea what the point of this line is.
"Its fraudulence and persistence
they just use to convince.
Society, blinded, on first-time instance.
Yet we applaud and approve and encourage compliments
glorifying their ascendancy from long time since."
Society decides what is fake. If society accepts it then it is not fake it is truth... hence approval. 'We', you are saying that you are a part of it, truth is relative so objective truth is defined by the group (society). Nevertheless though, nice reference to royalty and human nature, also I smell a reference to the cult of celebrity, real tribal primeval dominance shit thar. How people perceive people is ridiculous.
"However,
They change, they improve, they unveil long-hidden truth."
Hehehehe what is this some new world order shit lol ;p
"We empathize, we care, and miraculously we deduce:"
Who is we now?
"That which was hidden on our first impression
Hatches through personal and emotional digression."
Absolutely agree. Such is life - mysterious. Or as Vonnegut would say 'so it goes'. Apparently you were relating this sentence to the first in this stanza but how is a mystery to me. But the word 'hatch' is very appropriate, I like it. Oh and I assume that you mean progress as opposed to 'digress'
Seems from the following verses that you're soul searching but pointing the spotlight away from yourself.
"In their wake, we realize they are content and humble"
what, because the 'fakes' are rich and you envy them for their comfort? Please tell me I'm on the wrong track here because that would suck.
"But in concentration, we notice them bland and troubled."
Like a nazi, clearly misled? Now thar's a concentration of people. Or is that individual mental concentration? Or what? Who is we? The genuines? Who is genuine and what makes them so damn clever? Dem genuine fuckers are fake as hell if you ask me! See what I mean? What's fake? Everyone is genuine, even those who lie to themselves. Someone obsessed with the faults of others couldn't possibly be being honest with their self (themselv!!! lol my drunk grammar is dumb but in it is also beauty).
"From ambition to regret, we should have foreseen"
to me this refers to cultivation of the material and not the spiritual, all about the cash not about the soul and so on.
"Our sympathy, our hate, while the latter is lessened"
lessened by what? Buddhism? ;p
"We know, now, that there is no better stance than double."
Been raised to lie, double standards... because the wrongdoers are more successful in life. clever little grammar trick.
"We feel like them now, its effectiveness mere.
With their envied fortunes, we suddenly revere:
We can do it ourselves, we just need to know how
And so we lie[lolusaidapun;p], waiting,
until our lives are crystal clear."
money, american dream much? Ye, I geddit. But the thing about poems is... I'll put it this way: if I write a poem and you don't get it, then fuck you. Nothing personal, but poems are strictly personal, linked specifically from the author to the medium (as with any art form). It doesn't matter if no one else gets what you're going for, as long as you feel that you said what you needed to. Fuck everyone else's opinion including mine. Write whatever you feel regardless of how you think people will read it.
If you write poetry for anyone but yourself then it is disingenuous and so it is not art!
use less commas. keep writing. Punctuation is unimportant at your stage. Seriously, forget about punctuation. Focus on the beauty of each word, how each relates to each other and fluctuates meaning... write whatever you want without thinking and your meaning will make itself apparent to you whenever. If it doesn't then that's fine too. The word 'word' implies the meaning of the word 'word' through its sound. Feel your way through slippery snaking sentences as one must feel one's way through life.
But hay, I'm just a critic, amb zu tharfour meanengles ;p but so... you gon give me all the monies or whut?
peace and love
<3
