I promised an update, here it is.

I've talked with the new psy for my therapy, i'm officially starting it next monday, and honestly, the first hour I spend with this new psy, made me understand exactly what I had.

What was EXACTLY the causes of all of this

I started to give her a chronology of all of the events, then she started to ask questions, and look to find a cause to my current state and so far this is what she concluded :

I had to deal with such huge amount of stress and fear during the trauma i've been trough, that everytime i'm in a position that is kind of like the one I had when I felt this stress/fear/etc, (Exemple, being exposed , speaking to the class, talking in public, trying to be social, etc) that my brain automatically make me feel the old things I felt in the past, as a defense strategy to force me to flee. She told me that it's a defensive automatism from the brain, and that, sadly it work only on short period of time and it isn't effective on long period of time (my case).

The only thing I need to do, is to do my therapy every week, and work on every fragment of memory to unlock everything and finally do a requiem to be at peace with my past and finally create new connection in my brains to avoid this automatic system of defense.

Might have used some wrong words / etc, pretty hard to explain it even in my mother language, I hope I did an Ok job

Anyway, i'm hoping for the best right now