I would like to bid a long-lost artifact, a priceless piece of history, used in the past to channel great power. A perfectly preserved treasure, once thought lost to the ravages of time, but recently re-discovered in a humble shop by myself. When I saw it, I immediately felt it's power, and bought it from the shopkeeper, who was entirely unaware of the treasure that he had. I studied it for many months, testing them, observing their effects, and reading through the history books for hints of the item's past.
I believe these rare and wondrous items to be the original set of Pharos joints, crafted by the mysterious "hampa", and given to his highest general; the great and powerful overlord, veb. I believe that these joints were used by the overlord veb in the great wars, to great effect.
You may be asking yourself, "Why do I care about these joints? Why would I bother with Pharos?" Such cruelty! To compare these wondrous, lovingly crafted joints with the crudely made copies that flood the market! These are not ordinary joints, these are the originals! These perfect joints, still untarnished, surfaces pristine after so many years. These wonderful joints, that still hold the remnants of such great power, power that you can still feel, if you are to wear them.
Alas, I am forced to offer these amazing treasures to you in exchange for some simple tomatoes, for my addiction is a cruel mistress.