In god we trust when we cant pray in schools.
Does the government think were fools?
They probably gonna arrest me for treason.
Yeah, arrest me for no reason.
Black people getting killed by policemen.
Talking bout how black people are freemen.
The president's black hes probably sleeping.
When black people keep bleeding.
What is the government teaching?
Whats with all the police brutality's?
All these killing catastrophes.
Martin Luther King didn't do nothing wrong.
There still killing people on balconies.
We still cant say praise god in school.
Why don't we just overrule?
Why do we have to put up with this ridicule.
This is an outrage!
Stop with all this downplay.
God always outweighs.
This are the last days.
God used to be thanked and praised.
He always said good to come to people who obey.
But now it looks like the Bible has decayed away.
Black people aren't to blame.
I know white and black ain't the same.
Black people overcame adversity and reclaimed there right.
When it was taken from us.

that shizzle is tight
shizzle/10

"Black people getting killed by policemen.
Talking bout how black people are freemen"

Did you rhyme men with men? That times some really skill man. Eminem/10

ty just made it

I wasn't killing anyone.
I was with my brother driving not with a gun.
I wasn't stabbing anyone either.
All these fake rappers gonna give me a seizure oh damn a fever.
I'm not a deceiver.
don't worry i'm not saying i'm an overachiever.
Just like an unbeliever I don't believe in stuff you don't got.
No, i'm not a bitch fucker.
And I know your not a thug or a motherfucker.
You don't know what i am.
But i promise, I don't talk about what i don't have.
If I was like id probably sound like this:
Cut you with a machete, into little bite-sized pieces call it confetti.
Smoke so much weed i'm so fidgety.
Eat her pussy out like spaghetti.
When can I get another bitch already?
But all that isn't necessary.
My legacy wont bet legendary.
My guns and Bugatti's are imaginary.
I'm just another guy ordinary.
I'm not bringing no one to the cemetery.
I see people on rappad saying they making money.
I see they raps flowing like honey.
But someday imma make it for real.
Making as much money as a buccaneer.
Overhear me as a pioneering musketeer.
Its been one year rapping and i'm no where near.
I'm just a mere artist in the rapping career.
I know my bars need severe work.
But sometimes i be in my zone going berserk.
When you see me on the tv you'll see my handiwork.
I'm probably not gonna make it
But when you see the people rapping about money you know they faking it.

this line got me.
10/3.6 rapping perfected

this rapping is like poetry without stanzas

keep all of your raps in one thread please

also if (when) this thread gets worse im going to close it and dish out infractions

They're alright, though I would need to hear the flow.

Also maybe instead of rapping about what you don't have maybe you should try rapping about your needs.

And as a fellow rapper there is a time when you should be direct and a time to beat around the bush, use imagery, it makes it more relatable and visual instead of trying to directly speak to the people, it doesn't catch on too well, You gotta start thinking from outside the box instead of trying to break out of it rapping about those whack kids spitting shit about status, money bitches and material goods, sure whatever, but again you gotta use imagery to be a true MC that could lyrically stand as well as conceptually stand.

Try different techniques, having studied and tried some out myself. Really broadens horizons in the technicality of writing, I simplicity is your thing go ahead, but you'll get blown out of the water, Being a one trick pony is not cool nor is it fun.

5/10 for at least trying and getting a point across, but too many reuse of words.
The second is okay, the figurative part where your tongue is a machete hacking thoughts apart literally flew over your head.

Also RAWWRH
Freeman and policeman Is an internal rhyme as free and police have the sound of "EE" looks lazy but this ain't no nursery rhyme.

Of course lots of raps can sound different depending on how you say it. Look at pre-god kanye (college graduation-esque) In lots of songs he said words differently to go with the flow.
So the flow is important in lots of raps, thats why for a long time I didn't like jay-ze