My cock. It's huge.
Seriously, over three feet with the sharpest beak around.
EDIT: ... Oh god. That sounds wrong on more than one level.
MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY MODS ARE GAY
Avoidance of insignificantly harmful words like "crap" probably won't help you. Either way, you did. The posts prove you did, and now you're trying to convince us you didn't so your chances are once again decent. And I really think this didn't work.