That. :V
Long story short though, anxiety, of the "nearly having a panic attack" variety. It's the terror radiating from my guts, crippling my brain and threatening to erupt out of my mouth; the oppressive cloud of fear encroaching and shutting out the outside world. I was close to the tipping point, but didn't quite get there, thank goodness.

hey man im shutting out the outside world since around 2014,
i feel superstressed, cant calm down, have expections on myself that i cant reach, atleast not like that

i now have anxiety disorder and strong Depression

anxiety is a bitch

here is a painting from me how i feel



i always saw the good in People, and always tried to see the good even if it was the worst Person

that somehow changed yeah back in around 2014

i loved everybody and spent all love i had to everybody...

tho never love came back

now i feel, like i did 1 mistake in mylife and everybody hates on me, even tho they made 1000000000000000x

but yeah im not that Person anymore, im full of hate now
sadly


its hard to be a good guy, it accidently killed my Soul, something happend and also destroyed the will to believe everybody is possible to do good things, and im still trying to figure out what took me that will, i think that will would help me to be good and strong again, but atm i dont see it

i felt like everybody thought and thinks im a bad guy, and actually this thought that they think made me a bad guy, its hard to describe
i dont feel no matter where i am

i dont have the power to Change, i feel so weak and drained
now where i Need help, nobody helps me
nobody loves me

Damn, that's some heavy emotions right there. We spoke on Discord, and i appreciate you coming to me to talk about it, and you're still welcome to do so again at any time. The silver lining of my own dealings with anxiety is that maybe, just maybe, i can better help others deal with it in some way, with an understanding ear if nothing else.

oh also yes i finished inktober i've just been very busy and stressed the past couple of weeks so here you go




Also been taking a bit of a break from daily drawing, it kinda gets exhausting. :v
You might well end up seeing more of the new sketching strat in the future though, i like it myself!

edit: oh also forgot to mention



try it out here if you desire zapping

u got this shooks
http://forum.toribash.com/showthread.php?p=11685403

Oho! I hope i can find the time to do this, i have dumb ideas. :V

in the mean time more doodlings

when do u think im gon be legend

Hello shook nice drawings, do you like jazz?

Thanks! Eh, i wouldn't say i dislike it, but i don't really listen to it normally. I did go to a sweet-ass big band jazz concert in folk high school though, so i got that going for me??


in due time ;o

also uh, 1.5 doodles i guess



Been mad stressed by study recently, so i haven't had an awful lot of energy for anything after getting back home. Once we turn in the project on the 18th though, i'll hopefully be less on the verge of imploding all the time. :V

shook play stellaris with icky and me when the next dlc drops

your dragon and cow heads look very similar. just an observation.