EXTREMELY DARK HUMOR JOKE CONTEST!
I'll go first.
Medical Dark Humor:
Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife's been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.
"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks.
"Yes sir, what's happened? How is my wife?"
The doctor sits next to him and says, "I have good news and I have bad news. First the bad news: Your wife's accident resulted in two fractures of her spine." "Oh my God" says Mr. Jones. "Will she ever recover?"
"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her. Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia." Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.
"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails. The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over her sphincter. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid bedsores."
Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to withe off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.
Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand, pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder, and says "I also have some good news"
"What could possibly be good about this!" Wails Mr. Jones
Dr. Smith: "I'm just fucking with you, she's dead."
