I am enter with this story. I win by default... I hope.

One day, one sat still, staring at one's screen, doing nothing.
Then, a great light shone from it... And within the light, there was a grand nothing. And inside that grand nothing, two people stood. One, a heartless, mindless ragdoll with the potential to destroy all in his path, the other, just a heartless, mindless ragdoll. Go figure.
The one with potential recieved a name from above... Or, from 40 cm southwest. Whatever. He was named... Bloodkitty. But thats unimportant. A second one was named Qegola, with far less potential, and found it difficult to take steps... Or, for that matter, do anything. But in time, he grew to learn how to move his body in ways that no human ever could. This was partially owed to the fact that when a human lost their head, they most they would do would be twitch, but Qegola stood firm. He knew that it was only a flesh wound. He KNEW it didn't matter. He KNEW that if he screamed 'AAAH! My head!', people would laugh at him.
So he did. And people laughed.
And so, as time went by, Qegola killed many people. It would be more accurate to say he killed people many times... But that is neither here now there. He grew to be grand, and a recognized man... thing. Not for his powaaz, but for his longstanding contribution to his own ego. The end.

Sending creditz nowz =D

Here is my completely fact-based story, not that imaginative but very long. Hopefully it is ok and is inside the requirements.

I was just looking on funmotion and happened find toribash so i instantly downloaded it and started playing. I used the name i use for everything else of course*. When i first started i was less noobish than other noobs and when i went on multiplayer i kept pwning some guy named gif. After killing him many times, he asked me to join smash. I accepted. I started getting much better and started pwning everyone. I didn't know it but smash was dieing. Months later, i found out that gif was resigning as clan leader. I figured quanto or someone would just take over but it turned out quanto was also quitting and we really had no other members. It turned out that i was the only active member and so leadership was passed over to me. I imediatly took on juo as third in command while i waited for meepyness to respond to my invite to be second in command. I very quickly started recruited and we went from 2 members (juo and i) to about 5 within a few days. Meepyness accepted the invite and i recruited more people. After maybe a week or two juo decided to quit and be in toxic. Then he convinced me to take on stalin as my new third in command. We continued getting bigger( now we had about 9-10 people) until quite recently. There were some problems and stalin quit.
A week or two later: Now we have only 2 active members but i will not give up on the clan. We can still pull through, we can still survive all these losses.

The End

*(Brief explanation of name: When i was younger i had a cat name Napolean but i was young and thought it was spelled Nepolean and i started calling him nepo. A few years ago we lost him, he just dissapeared. Now i always use nepo or nepo11, etc for my username in his memory.)

This story is based on facts.

Me and Toribash

Almost a year ago, August 2006, a no-life kid found an interesting game, it was called Toribash. The trailer looked really cool, so the kid decided to download the game. It took many, many months for him to master it.. But he didn't care about that, he only wanted to have fun.

One day, the kid saw that Toribash had become shareware by version 2.0. He was quite sad and he sticked in 1.9 for quite a while. He also joined the forums in December, he didn't post much but he browsed the forums nearly every day. At late spring he got more active.

In February, the kid joined his first clan, RedCross. RedCross was mainly a beginner clan but it had a few nice members like Mosier and the clan-leader Ari. In April, he finally got a registeration key! He got it from MahaTmA's 'By Way of Worth' competition, that day he was really happy. Recently after that he joined Dinner, he would have stayed in Dinner much more, but he couldn't resist the invitation to Guru. So he joined Guru, and continued the never-ending asskicking.

There's my story, about myself. :P I hope it's ok.

This is sorta like a revised version of the original Guru story. But much more dark. Hope I win

The great master of knowledge looked around in the settling dust. The once peaceful celestials had been turned into a bloody combat arena by his desire for destruction. The others who once dwelled on this higher plane of existence had been torn to pieces by his brutal actions. Punishment was inevitable.


The great master of knowledge was brought before the heavenly judge. His punishment? To be sent down to the mortal world and stripped of his godlike powers. He had been granted the permission to keep his vast intelligence, but all of his divine, and tainted, powers were taken away from him. Enraged, he roamed Earth finding a way to vent his lust for combat. But he found no way to do so without getting an even worse punishment. He was about to give up, when he found Toribash. It was absolutely perfect for him. A simple game yes, but it required smarts, something he had limitless amounts of. And best of all, his burning desire for blood and destruction could finally be solved.


He used his mortal name and edited it to adopt the alias "B-rad". It wasn't long before he was destroying others with ease and practicing his cruel entertainment upon a helpless ragdoll named "Uke". But after much limb tearing and much head removing, he decided he needed support from others. He created a clan of his own. It's purpose? To become all knowing Guru's of Toribash. And so far, it's been happening. Perhaps one day he will rise against those who sent him down to Earth, but for now it was time to bash... Toribash!

The end

Mine:

One time I did a stink stink in teh toilet. MAN was it a stink stink! It grew arms and legs and ate my lower body.

The end.

ill join if you tell me how to send credits

ok heres my story:

I am odd, master of oddness
once upon a time in a land not so very far away, the land of tori, there was a man. this man had no name for he was very boring and unindividual. This man went through his life in the vast white plains of tori winning some of his fights and losing the others. none remembered thisman for he was boring and had no name, but one day while he was in a fight against one long lost master of the art of toribash the carnage of the fight formed the shape of a shirtless ninja. The miracle spoke to this man
but his mind was weak for he was such an iunremarkable man. the immense power of the miracle drove the man insane and he became very very very odd. the shirtless ninja spoke then:" name less man, i have come to you now because i am in need of a champion, one to represent me on the land of tori, one who will spread my message throughout the many many fights and danceoffs of this world. i am the almighty shirtless ninja master of kickbutt kickbutt kickbutt (thats not profanity is it?)
i APOLOGIZE for cracking your mind like a glow stick but it was necesarry. you are now to be know as odd. That is the story of how i became the one known as odd later he came to me and taught me how to perform the holy tecnique oddpocalypse. before fights i must strain to victorize i pray to the almighty shirtless ninja. i am mocked for mybeliefs but you i know thAT only the true believers in shirtless ninja will ascend to oddvean. aaaaaannnniiiiiiinnnnnnjjjjjjaaaa.

ok once i get 2 more judge i will look at them and all of us will decide which is the best story =D

Chapter One: The Rising

The dwarf hamster sat in its cage. It was no different from any other hamster at the pet shop. Small, fuzzy, cute, washing its face with its hands and looking about furtively. It glanced up to see someone enter the shop, and make their way to the rodent section, towards him. He rejoiced! Perhaps this would be the day he would finally have a loving owner. The hamster chittered in excitement, and hopped up and down as the man approached his cage.

Hampa looked in. He studied the animal for physical defects, or anything out of the ordinary. Finding none, he muttered, "Sufficient..." and got the attention of a pet shop clerk.

The hamster was deposited in the black van, and began his trip back to Hampa's Lair.

Chapter Two: The Transmutation

The hamster sniffed at the airholes in the little cardboard box. He was excited. There were strange smells coming through the box, new smells that tickled his whiskers. He had been taken out of the van, and he felt the box bumping along as Hampa brought it into his Lair.

The top of the box opened, and the hamster poked its head out, looking around. To his dismay, he found another glass cage, though this one was cylindrical. Hampa was standing behind some sort of metal array, looking at the hamster inside the cylinder.

"Activate, subject is ready."

The hamster twitched.

A bolt of energy streaked through the cylinder, coursing through the dwarf hamster's body, and setting the box he was in on fire. The tiny rodent convulsed, and was pulled into the air, as the crackling beam brought him further and further up. Hampa looked on cooly, and adjusted a few dials.

The lights flickered.

...There was a terrible noise. There was an awesome light. There was a silence beyond understanding...

As the backup generators fizzled into life, and the low red lights lit up the room, the glass cylinder could be seen shattered in pieces. Hampa's eyes widened a bit, as he saw what the broken container held, standing tall in the center of the room...

"Can you hear me?" Spoke Hampa.

The figure turned towards the voice.

"Yesh."

Hampa arched an eyebrow.

"Do you know what you are?" He asked the figure.

The crunching of glass broke the quiet of the room as the figure stepped down off the raised platform that held the cylinder. The creature extended its arms, and contracted them. It flexed its pecs back and forth, testing their range. It turned its attention back to Hampa.

"I'm Hamster. lol >:3"

The security intercom came to life "JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION, GET IN THE CAR!"

Hampa sprinted from the room, as the bulkhead doors slammed down after him. A dreadful blasting noise behind him confirmed that Hamster was not deterred by the reinforced steel. Jumping into his Toricopter, Hampa took off at full speed from his Lair complex. Hamster, his bewildered creation, sprinted after him, jumping off the helicopter platform balcony, and just missing the landing rungs.

"Oshi- I forgot to graaaaaab...."

Hamster fell down, down, into the murky depths of the chasm surrounding Hampa's lair...

Chapter 3: The Genesis Complete

Battered and bruised, Hamster limped away from his birthplace, seeking comfort and a family. He found both in the pits of combat, with the camaraderie of the Torigods, and the comfort derived from the grace and peace of the fight. Hamster's skill grew with his friends, and he rose from the inexperienced greenhorn of 2005 to the polished bashing construct of today. One day, perhaps Hamster will learn more of why he was brought into this world. Until then he'll just keep kicking ass.

THE END

That was funny.

You win.

(Automatically)