Seems to be a well made construction, but it's so common in creepypastas to read this:
Always should start with a school day?
I've readed like 3 or 4 creepypastas that start like this. Try to give him a poor-like childhood, then the child doesn't have money to buy games and sees the purple guy who gives gifts.
This also is pretty common, I've readed it in millions of creepypastas.
You should give it something like when it does that he knows that something bad would happend and tries to cancel it but there's no going back. Or maybe change the "black screen of 5 secs" to fast load then the game with horrible things as you explained.
Well nothing much to say as I don't want to get more closer to the theme and read it 3 or 4 times, is so long, hehe.
Also Toribash doesn't seem to be scary, because they aren't humans so we don't see them as gruesome, maybe some people around the world.
I don't see it as a bad game, but it doesn't give the feel of "scary" when a man rips off another mans head, because they are toris, just in my opinion, tell me if I misunderstand the story a little bit.
But seems to be a nice work, keep it up
I give it a Not bad
7/10
Originally Posted by Glimpsed
One cold, moody day at school, I heard from my buddy Bloo that the purple man was giving away some of his old games. This man gave me his 'favourite' game. It was a mystery to me why he seemed so eager to get rid of it. This put me a bit on edge, but I reluctantly accepted the gift from him because I didn't want to seem rude in front of all my peers. I put the shady CD-ROM in my bag. For some reason, I felt uneasy, like I had just made the worst decision of my life. I almost felt sick. I tried to ignore this and get through the rest of the school day so I could put the game away at home.
Always should start with a school day?
I've readed like 3 or 4 creepypastas that start like this. Try to give him a poor-like childhood, then the child doesn't have money to buy games and sees the purple guy who gives gifts.
Originally Posted by Glimpsed
It installed unnaturally fast, and no prompt came up asking if I wanted to install it. This surprised me, because I had never seen this behaviour in a game before. I decided to ignore this and wait for the game to open. After a long minute of waiting, my screen cut to black for five seconds and the words 'TOR-DIE-BASH - VIOLENCE PERFECTED' flashed on my screen.
This also is pretty common, I've readed it in millions of creepypastas.
You should give it something like when it does that he knows that something bad would happend and tries to cancel it but there's no going back. Or maybe change the "black screen of 5 secs" to fast load then the game with horrible things as you explained.
Well nothing much to say as I don't want to get more closer to the theme and read it 3 or 4 times, is so long, hehe.
Also Toribash doesn't seem to be scary, because they aren't humans so we don't see them as gruesome, maybe some people around the world.
I don't see it as a bad game, but it doesn't give the feel of "scary" when a man rips off another mans head, because they are toris, just in my opinion, tell me if I misunderstand the story a little bit.
But seems to be a nice work, keep it up
I give it a Not bad
7/10
Last edited by Corredor; Jan 10, 2016 at 02:18 PM.
Running away...
