I think it's not really bad to stay with the Melancholia.
Firstly, you need to find something that'll take your mind off things.
Then, you should continue on what you love doing.
There's nothing wrong from looking back at your past. It's to remind you that you are aware of what happened, and is doing the best you can do to keep moving forward.
I, too, am suffering from crippling depression.
But like I said, try to keep your mind off of it. If not, then try your best to solve the cause of the depression itself.
It's what I did.
Firstly, you need to find something that'll take your mind off things.
Then, you should continue on what you love doing.
There's nothing wrong from looking back at your past. It's to remind you that you are aware of what happened, and is doing the best you can do to keep moving forward.
I, too, am suffering from crippling depression.
But like I said, try to keep your mind off of it. If not, then try your best to solve the cause of the depression itself.
It's what I did.
(i don't have experience on the matter, this is something i tried to piece together based on things i have been told about depression and anxiety, so take this with a grain of salt)
just a thought; these kinds of anxieties can be a result of overthinking. Thinking about something for too long is like considering every possible outcome of a situation, but generally in this case thoughts gravitate towards negative outcomes. Isolation can lead you to roaming around in regret and insecurities, because there is nothing else going on around you to think about.
that is why I believe feeding your mind new information can be good. If you have the chance to travel somewhere for a while, take up a new hobby/activity, or even MAYBE make an effort to meet someone new, it could do wonders. You mentioned that music has a good effect on you, and I actually believe that this is what music is doing, it's "distracting" you in a way. I recommend trying to find good/healthy things to distract yourself with, and maybe eventually finding a productive thing that can distract you.
So, in the form of a crappy metaphor, if you don't show your brain anything from the outside world for it to consume, it will just consume something from the world in your head. Thoughts and decisions will all be based on how you see the world, and I don't know how you see it, but if it's very grim, then maybe you might not be making the best decisions. In this case it is probably difficult to conquer isolation, but it could be healthy.
just a thought; these kinds of anxieties can be a result of overthinking. Thinking about something for too long is like considering every possible outcome of a situation, but generally in this case thoughts gravitate towards negative outcomes. Isolation can lead you to roaming around in regret and insecurities, because there is nothing else going on around you to think about.
that is why I believe feeding your mind new information can be good. If you have the chance to travel somewhere for a while, take up a new hobby/activity, or even MAYBE make an effort to meet someone new, it could do wonders. You mentioned that music has a good effect on you, and I actually believe that this is what music is doing, it's "distracting" you in a way. I recommend trying to find good/healthy things to distract yourself with, and maybe eventually finding a productive thing that can distract you.
So, in the form of a crappy metaphor, if you don't show your brain anything from the outside world for it to consume, it will just consume something from the world in your head. Thoughts and decisions will all be based on how you see the world, and I don't know how you see it, but if it's very grim, then maybe you might not be making the best decisions. In this case it is probably difficult to conquer isolation, but it could be healthy.
Last edited by pusga; Jun 16, 2016 at 01:21 PM.
oh yeah
Originally Posted by Shook
First of all, depression is SERIOUS, and i recommend seeking professional help. It doesn't have to involve pills, there are plenty of therapists around who don't go like "yes eat these they make you stronk".
Secondly, in my wholly uneducated opinion (so don't take this for a diagnosis), it sounds to me like you've developed some nasty social anxiety. Why? Well, i've kind of gone through the same, albeit not as severely (i was "only" verbally/emotionally abused by my peers). It has left scars, and they are dreadfully slow to heal. A lot of what you're saying sounds painfully familiar to me. Being shy, being afraid, putting on a mask, almost all of it. Hell, it took me the better part of 4 years to build up the courage to finally tell my parents that yes, i like to draw things! (seriously, not even kidding, that was terrifying)
So, what helps? Well, again, i can recommend therapy (i went to group therapy, it was great, even if it was utterly nervewracking at times), but in much simpler terms, exposure. As unpleasant as it may be, you'll have to face your fear if you want to conquer it, though of course it's best to start in a safe environment, i.e. with friends. Just know that it's okay to be afraid, and that the feeling alone won't hurt you. Every time you face your fear and don't back down, it becomes that little bit easier to face it again, and while it probably will hang on for a long time, you just gotta take it one step at a time.
Also, it's also worth noting that being quiet and shy doesn't make you a bad person. Hell, most quiet and shy people are stereotyped as intelligent and thoughtful individuals, so there you go. :v
You will not receive better advice than this. ^
There is always someone there to help you. Depression is beyond serious and if you think you have it, you need to let your family know. As Shook said, you don't need pills or medication at all.
Now, aside from a psych class I took in college I don't know shit about your situation. I had what I would consider a phase, maybe not of that same thing you went through with your peers. But the thing that always kept me going was that one friend or person who was always there for me. As I got older I got more involved with the things I loved.
If there isn't an art club in your school, that baffles me. Talk to your teachers and see if you can get a club established. This will push you to engage with more people. For me, I joined a youth leadership organization and I can personally say that it was the greatest thing I have ever done. I am still an active member today and I will continue to be for life.
If any of this is out of your conform zone, please talk to a parent or event a friend about your situation. It is very important that you talk to someone, because if you don't you will only feel like you are sinking further and further into a hole that you can no longer pull yourself out of.
The psychological definition of suicide is "A permanent solution to a temporary problem"
Depression is not permanent, and you can always get help from someone you know. I and probably everyone else who reads this thread urges you to seek the help you need. It will benefit you in the long run and you won't regret it for a second.
A hasbeen like the rest
Originally Posted by Shook
First of all, depression is SERIOUS, and i recommend seeking professional help. It doesn't have to involve pills, there are plenty of therapists around who don't go like "yes eat these they make you stronk".
Secondly, in my wholly uneducated opinion (so don't take this for a diagnosis), it sounds to me like you've developed some nasty social anxiety. Why? Well, i've kind of gone through the same, albeit not as severely (i was "only" verbally/emotionally abused by my peers). It has left scars, and they are dreadfully slow to heal. A lot of what you're saying sounds painfully familiar to me. Being shy, being afraid, putting on a mask, almost all of it. Hell, it took me the better part of 4 years to build up the courage to finally tell my parents that yes, i like to draw things! (seriously, not even kidding, that was terrifying)
So, what helps? Well, again, i can recommend therapy (i went to group therapy, it was great, even if it was utterly nervewracking at times), but in much simpler terms, exposure. As unpleasant as it may be, you'll have to face your fear if you want to conquer it, though of course it's best to start in a safe environment, i.e. with friends. Just know that it's okay to be afraid, and that the feeling alone won't hurt you. Every time you face your fear and don't back down, it becomes that little bit easier to face it again, and while it probably will hang on for a long time, you just gotta take it one step at a time.
Also, it's also worth noting that being quiet and shy doesn't make you a bad person. Hell, most quiet and shy people are stereotyped as intelligent and thoughtful individuals, so there you go. :v
Originally Posted by DiuwayBuns
I think it's not really bad to stay with the Melancholia.
Firstly, you need to find something that'll take your mind off things.
Then, you should continue on what you love doing.
There's nothing wrong from looking back at your past. It's to remind you that you are aware of what happened, and is doing the best you can do to keep moving forward.
I, too, am suffering from crippling depression.
But like I said, try to keep your mind off of it. If not, then try your best to solve the cause of the depression itself.
It's what I did.
Originally Posted by pusga
(i don't have experience on the matter, this is something i tried to piece together based on things i have been told about depression and anxiety, so take this with a grain of salt)
just a thought; these kinds of anxieties can be a result of overthinking. Thinking about something for too long is like considering every possible outcome of a situation, but generally in this case thoughts gravitate towards negative outcomes. Isolation can lead you to roaming around in regret and insecurities, because there is nothing else going on around you to think about.
that is why I believe feeding your mind new information can be good. If you have the chance to travel somewhere for a while, take up a new hobby/activity, or even MAYBE make an effort to meet someone new, it could do wonders. You mentioned that music has a good effect on you, and I actually believe that this is what music is doing, it's "distracting" you in a way. I recommend trying to find good/healthy things to distract yourself with, and maybe eventually finding a productive thing that can distract you.
So, in the form of a crappy metaphor, if you don't show your brain anything from the outside world for it to consume, it will just consume something from the world in your head. Thoughts and decisions will all be based on how you see the world, and I don't know how you see it, but if it's very grim, then maybe you might not be making the best decisions. In this case it is probably difficult to conquer isolation, but it could be healthy.
Originally Posted by dannyrug
You will not receive better advice than this. ^
There is always someone there to help you. Depression is beyond serious and if you think you have it, you need to let your family know. As Shook said, you don't need pills or medication at all.
Now, aside from a psych class I took in college I don't know shit about your situation. I had what I would consider a phase, maybe not of that same thing you went through with your peers. But the thing that always kept me going was that one friend or person who was always there for me. As I got older I got more involved with the things I loved.
If there isn't an art club in your school, that baffles me. Talk to your teachers and see if you can get a club established. This will push you to engage with more people. For me, I joined a youth leadership organization and I can personally say that it was the greatest thing I have ever done. I am still an active member today and I will continue to be for life.
If any of this is out of your conform zone, please talk to a parent or event a friend about your situation. It is very important that you talk to someone, because if you don't you will only feel like you are sinking further and further into a hole that you can no longer pull yourself out of.
The psychological definition of suicide is "A permanent solution to a temporary problem"
Depression is not permanent, and you can always get help from someone you know. I and probably everyone else who reads this thread urges you to seek the help you need. It will benefit you in the long run and you won't regret it for a second.
Update :
It's been month since i've posted this, as I was seeking help or answers.
First of all, i'd like to thank all of you for taking time to answer this thread and give me your opinions/advice on my condition.
But now i've got some news.
I finally had the courage to talk about it with my parents aswell as my CPE (A CPE is someone in an High-School who manage the problems that got some class, like for example from class 1ère to 2nd, and deal with the students, if they are agressive, have problems, have bad grades, etc) that guessed and made me come over because most of the teachers noticed that I had a weird attitude (Not saying I had one awful day where I cried a bit in class, and I was surprised most of my class mate send me message over facebook asking me how I was and if they had to worry about what happened, anyway).
So right now , I have to speak with 2 different psy out of my High-school, and I need to be followed closely by the teachers aswell as by my parents.
I can't really explain how I feel about this, I'm kind of stressed up. I already talked with one of the psy and I know him a bit, but I don't know how I will explain what I experienced that could put me in this state, it's like my memory is locking up some parts of what happened to me. On the other hand I'm asking myself questions that I find essentials :
- "Why did they did that to me ?"
- "What did they got in return ?"
- "One day, will they regret or get punished for what they did ?"
You know, those kind of questions.
On the plus side, I made myself a girlfriend and some new friend. And I started another sport than Swimming (Which I was doing for like 3/4 years because I wanted to get muscular enough to not get bullied again ; And I reached a competitive level) , this sport is the Korean Fencing, with some Katana, really nice since we learn bushido aswell with it ; It help me get more calm and zen with myself and what's around me.
Anyway, gonna drop another update after I spoke with the two psy 2 or 3 time.
French Player, Old member of OFRO
You're very welcome, i'm glad to hear you've been making progress! Trust me, i know that it's fucking stressful to come out with issues like these (i get stressed just talking casually about it with my brother), but i am about 95% sure that you'll be glad you did.
I THINK it's not uncommon for particularly unpleasant memories to be locked away, but i can't say for sure since i'm pretty sure i remember the worst experiences i've had. Talking about that kind of stuff is never really pleasant, but it's important that you're willing to talk about it. I mean, you don't have to instantly go straight to it if some random person strikes up an idle conversation with you ("excuse me do you know the t-" "I HAVE A VERY DARK AND TROUBLED CHILDHOOD also four o'clock"), but therapists and trusted friends/family members (i'm aware that some people have to deal with toxic family members) are ideal "targets". If nothing else, you can at least take solace in the fact that you're not the only one who knows about it, eh?
Anyways, i ramble. Good luck, i'm looking forward to the update! c:
I THINK it's not uncommon for particularly unpleasant memories to be locked away, but i can't say for sure since i'm pretty sure i remember the worst experiences i've had. Talking about that kind of stuff is never really pleasant, but it's important that you're willing to talk about it. I mean, you don't have to instantly go straight to it if some random person strikes up an idle conversation with you ("excuse me do you know the t-" "I HAVE A VERY DARK AND TROUBLED CHILDHOOD also four o'clock"), but therapists and trusted friends/family members (i'm aware that some people have to deal with toxic family members) are ideal "targets". If nothing else, you can at least take solace in the fact that you're not the only one who knows about it, eh?
Anyways, i ramble. Good luck, i'm looking forward to the update! c:
<Blam|Homework> oiubt veubg
various places to find me lol
various places to find me lol
