My funeral song would be Old McDonald had a farm, followed up by an eight hour service detailing every week of my life. I would be cremated, but only from the neck down so that my head remained, and when people wanted to talk about me by giving a eulogy, they'd have to hold the head. At the end of the service, my head would be thrown into the crowd, and they would have to play tips with it and hit it up at least 15 times or the service would start from the beginning. Oh, and I would make sure there were at least 5 tall basketball players in the crowd, each one payed to smack down my head and start the service over.
Seriously.