Hey jak



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Toribash
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

They probably think it's some type of exotic fetish :P

Connecting to server...
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
 
Stranger: i wanna be startin' somethin'
 
You: Make love?
 
Stranger: nah
 
You: Make babies?
 
Stranger: umm not yet
 
You: Make Gay Homo Fuckfest?
 
Stranger: helly yeah!
 
You: YAY!!!!
 
Stranger: WOOOOHOOO
 
You: You have dildo?
 
Stranger: no, do you?
 
You: *chops of dick*
 
You: YES!
 
Stranger: awesome!!!!
 
You: Living Dildo! :D
 
Stranger: thats cool!!!!!!!
 
You: Me want bang bang!
 
You: Miso Horni!
 
Stranger: lets start!!!!!!!
 
You: MISO!
 
You: <3 MISO
 
You: She is feeling very horni right now!
 
Stranger: whaaat?
 
You: MISO! :)
 
You: I be right back
 
You: Miso is very horny
 
You: I cannot wait!
 
Stranger: well now that i think about it...
 
Stranger: im not ready for a fuckfest
 
You: Must fuck Miso now!
 
You: BYE BYE!
 
Stranger: sorry
 
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: Hai

Stranger: FUK U

You: Come estaS?

You: Siko Nagi?

Stranger: MUBEIN BITCH

You: Undai Nuchen!

You: Pugai naam

You: Nie shobu takawana?

You: Mina soto "MUBEIN BITCH"?

You: Quo sai? Naam da?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: Hey!

You: Wanna form an Oreo?

Stranger: hey .. oreo? haha

You: Yes!

You: You. Me. Oreo. NOW!

Stranger: how do i do that?

You: I'm black

You: And I want some white inside me

You: Gimme that cream :D

Stranger: ohh sorry i hate black ppl 

Stranger: kk 

Stranger: bye

You: Awww fucka!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Lol this is very amusing cyber.
I had another convo before this, but after telling the guy I was black, he used the N word so many times that I didn't feel like editing it out.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: Hey

Stranger: hi there

Stranger: asl?

Stranger: 22 f USA

You: ok

You: As long as you tell first

You: 25 M canada

You: Word of advice.... :P

Stranger: you wanna cyber

Stranger: ?

You: Only if I see a pic first

You: I need a face

Stranger: sorry, I don't have any

Stranger: can u use ur imagination?

You: Well, you know that most girls on here are actually guys

You: How can I be sure?

Stranger: hm

Stranger: my period is every 5 weeks

You: How about this...

You: What's your name

Stranger: Summer

You: Any guy can say their period is every 5 weeks :)

You: Ok now really fast

You: Email address

You: 10

You: 9

You: 8

You: 7

You: lol :P

Stranger: [email protected]

You: Ok, I'll send an email there now

Stranger: but what do you want to do now?

You: And if I don't get a reply, you are fake :P

You: If I do, I'd believe you

You: Hello?

You: Sent

Stranger: okay

You: What does it say?

Stranger: just a second, need to log in

Stranger: Confirm?

You: :)

You: Ok

You: Yeah I wanna cyber

You: But I'm tired of doing all the work

You: Lets pretend I'm a virgin male

You: and you are an experienced sex goddess :)

You: I have no idea what to do ;o

You: Well?

Stranger: okay

Stranger: you're a teenager, in high school, and your parents hired a stay-at-home maid

Stranger: me

You: Stay at home maid?

You: :D

You: Wow, that maid is pretty

Stranger: yeah, I cook and clean for you

Stranger: so, while I'm living at your house, I see you occasionally glance at me,

Stranger: when I'm bent over

You: I have spycams all around the floor :P

You: That's not the Dark Knight I'm watching on my ipod :

Stranger: I start flirting with you, teasing

Stranger: so one night, you're in your room, jerking off looking at your videos of my upskirt,

You: Mmmmm

You: HD goodness

Stranger: I hear you panting from outside the door. I open it and see you jerking off

You: Oh no!

Stranger: but you don't hear me, so I sneak in and ask, Whatcha lookin at?

Stranger: you turn your head and see me

You: I quickly throw on some covers

You: Nothin

Stranger: Oh really?

You: Yeah...

Stranger: I sidle over to your computer

You: Just some batman...

Stranger: and start clicking around

You: I start panicking

You: I stare down your gaping top

Stranger: Oh? What's this? when I find the upskirt pics

You: my face turn red

You: my cock goes limp from fear

Stranger: Oh, who could that be? Some lucky girl?

Stranger: I back off and lay on your bed, stretching 

You: Your top is tight now :o

Stranger: I'm wearing purple silk pajamas, tight around my ass and tits, and my nipples are poking through

You: perky, like mine after I swim!

Stranger: I get up and walk back to you at your computer

You: wow, men and women are pretty similar

Stranger: and stand behind your chair

Stranger: now, what could you have been doing earlier?

You: homework....

Stranger: was it this? I reach down under your covers and start feeling your dick

You: :o

Stranger: I start playing with it, moving the foreskin, massaging your balls

You: Mommy said not to let people touch me there...but....oh :)

Stranger: when you get a hardon, I start moving my left hand up and down your dick

Stranger: while playing with your balls

Stranger: I'm going faster and faster

Stranger: up and down

You: And your hand is just like mine too!

You: It's so familiar, I start to calm down

Stranger: I take my right hand away from your balls, and stick the middle finger in your mouth

You: :o....it's...salty

You: like...soysauce:o

Stranger: I swirl my finger around in your mouth, getting it wet

Stranger: then take it out and put it in my mouth

Stranger: it tastes good

You: I look, and my gaze lowers a bit

Stranger: My hand is still jerking your cock off

Stranger: it's getting harder and harder

You: My body gives a slight tremble

Stranger: your cum shoots out of your dick, landing everywhere

You: O crap

You: You better be cleaning that up!

You: Momma ain't payin you 30 dollars an hour for nothing

You: ....

You: then I forget about it

You: entranced by your tits

Stranger: I start licking up the cum

You: How does it taste?

Stranger: it's on my hands, your face, the desk, and the screen

You: damn, my computer

You: How will I look at your upskirt pics now?

You: I make a mental note to punish my dick later

You: I'm considering sticking my hand up your skirt....

You: It slowly moves....

Stranger: I push your chair back

You: Ahhh

You: Wah, I wanted pussy ;_;

Stranger: and shove my ass a couple inches in front of your face while I lick your cum off the computer screen

You: Mmm, I start leaning in, slowly sticking my tounge out

Stranger: Oh, I know those panties! I say.

Stranger: You've been a bad boy

You: My face freezes

You: D:

Stranger: still, they do look pretty sexy

Stranger: mm, I'm getting hot

Stranger: I pull down my pajama bottoms and start masturbating in front of your face while looking at the upskirt pics

You: *stare*

You: My pants are feeling tight again

Stranger: Could you be a dear and play with my ass? I ask.

You: Ok.

You: I lick your left buttcheek. Like a cat :>

You: Then I pounce in like a lion

You: Rawr

You: Its tasty!

Stranger: ooh, you're so naughty

You: *nibble nibble*

You: *pinch pinch*

You: *jiggle*

You: My hand on the right one wanders towards the middle

You: Stroking up and down your crack

Stranger: My left hand is playing with my pussy, going faster and faster, deeper and deeper

Stranger: playing and teasing my clit

You: I daringly put my thumb in your butthole

You: Kinda like how daddy does to me on my bday

You: My left hand joins the fray!

Stranger: Agh!

You: Oh jeez

You: What was that?

Stranger: me, coming

You: woah, I'm jealous

Stranger: I turn around and look at you

You: My hands are now on your pussy

You: Woah, it's wet!

Stranger: mm, that's what happens when I'm playing with such a cutie like you.

You: It fits my fingers so much better than your butthole

You: :D

You: Why, I can stick my hand in there

Stranger: oh, please do

You: I start inserting it deeper

Stranger: just shove your whole arm in, it'll fit

You: It's a bit tight, so I begin bringing it back and forth

You: Like a seesaw

You: My cock is hard again

You: I have visions of cheese getting stuck with toothpicks

You: instincts

You: I lean in and start kissing your lips

You: and sticking my tongue in

Stranger: just stick your dick in

You: :o

Stranger: I won't mind

You: Ok

You: I grab your breasts and pull you down

You: Hmmm, this is a bad angle

You: I drag you over to my bed

You: I clap my hands a couple times and the lights dim

You: *clap clap*

Stranger: heehee

You: My snake finds it's burough

You: It's warm and cozy

You: I let it rest in there

You: Hmmm, that's not working well

You: I pull it out slightly and try again

You: A bit better

You: And again

You: It's like a musket now

You: *clap*

You: The light brighten a bit

You: *clap*

You: Dim

You: I start getting the hand of it

You: I grab onto your hair and upgrade to a machine gun

You: *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP*

You: The lights start flashing

You: Even faster

You: Mmm yes

You: My head is getting dazed

You: I'm not sure if it's from the lights or the pleasure

Stranger: I turn around on my stomach and let you do me doggy style

Stranger: do you think you can go faster now?

You: The lights stay on for a second as I figure out a position

You: Woah, it's like, gatling gun now

You: *CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP*

You: The lights are flashing faster

You: I grab your round butt for support as the bed rocks in rhythm to the lights

You: Suddenly the lights give a *tick* and turn dark

You: I keep firing

You: Gee wiz, I could do this all day

Stranger: just cum already

You: *clap*

You: Ugh....

Stranger: fill me up with your cum

You: Two small drops come out

You: hmmm, maybe you shouldn't have spent me earlier

You: Owait!

You: *clap clap clap*

You: I feel more rush out

You: Woah, it's like a super squirter!

You: *squirt squirt*

You: Awwww, now my bed's dirty!

You: You better clean that up!

Stranger: it's okay

Stranger: I'll keep you warm tonight

You: My parent might fire yo----oooh

You: My hands start feeling your breasts

You: I lay down, my legs in my own cum and I bring you down with me

You: I kiss your lips

You: But, I miss and hit your eye

You: oops

Stranger: hey, what's a good chat service you can sign up for?

Stranger: In case we wanna do this again

You: Annnnd.....I kiss you goodnight, and hit

You: Lol that was amusing :)

You: Erm....

You: I have MSN, but I never really use it

You: Epilogue: My parents find us nude and in the twists of love.

You: You are fired and I am castrated

You: Sad story

You: Hmmm

You: AIM?

Stranger: just a second

You: k

Stranger: sorry, my computer can't do that.

You: ?

You: AIM?

You: Or MSN?

Stranger: we can email each other stories ;)

You: Haha

You: I guess that will work 

You: I had the most fun today of all my omegle chats

You: I was laughing and aroused at the same time XD

You: You're good

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: hey

Stranger: halo

You: i think halo is a pretty cool guy

You: eh pwn aliens and doesnt afraid of anything

Stranger: yea

Stranger: and respawn

You: eh cun suck my dik

Your conversational partner has disconnected.




Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: are you from latvia?

You: hey

You: no

You: I burn those people

Stranger: me to

You: Lets go

Stranger: i`m from netherlands

You: You got your flammable dildo ready, so you can slice and burn and the same time?

Stranger: yeah with weed

You: Dude, I need to upgrade mine then

You: Mines the CXS 4800 series

Stranger: mine is cxs4900 unlinited serie

You: Damn

Stranger: i just upgrade it

You: You mean the one with the built in lighter?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: and a storage for weed

You: I heard there were quality issues with the left testicle falling off though

Stranger: no its fine

You: Hmmmm....

Stranger: its soft and you can turn it harder if you want

You: damn

You: With rechargeable batteries right?

You: Mine still uses AA

Stranger: you can kill someone to if you want

You: Oh yeah, with the built in taser function

Stranger: miine is with accu

You: when the bitch don't pay

Stranger: of course

Stranger: i can play baseball to

Stranger: with it

You: you mean...it GROWS?!?!

Stranger: its strecht able

You: Hmmmm

You: I better go in my cockmobile to get me one of these

You: bye bye

You: faggot

Stranger: nice

You have disconnected.





Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hye

Stranger: *hey

You: Yo dogg, we heard you liked to chat, so we put an Omegle in you Omegle, so you can chat while you chat!

You: Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: You: Hi!

Stranger: haha

You: You: Hello?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
 
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
 
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
 
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
 
You: hey
 
Stranger: hiya
 
Stranger: wwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeee
 
You: prove you aren't an immature 14 yr old boy right now
 
Stranger: im not
 
Stranger: i ahvae triple d's
 
You: ew
 
You: 300 lb women have triple D's
 
You: You fucker
 
You: Lay off the hot pockets
 
Stranger: yo uwant ot fuck me?
 
You: You mean those two flabs of fat you call your pussy?
 
Stranger: helicopter style?
 
Stranger: o yea
 
Stranger: it looks like arby's roast beef sandwich
 
You: Hot mothafuckin roast beef
 
You: I'm HINDU YOU JERK!
 
Stranger: want some roast beef ?
 
Stranger: ILL BURN YOUR DIRTY DIAPER
 
Stranger: OFF YOUR HEAD
 
You: FUCK YOU, COW!
 
You: YOU DISGRACE ALL THAT IS SACRED ABOUT COWS!
 
Stranger: COWS BLOWWW
 
Stranger: THT'ATS WHY THEY HAVE MAD COW DISEASE
 
You: LAY OFF THE LARD
 
Stranger: PIGS ARE SACRED ANIMALS
 
You: FUCK YOUR LOOSE STOMACH FAT!
 
You: YEAH, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ROAST BEEF AND FUCK IT!
 
Stranger: O YEA BABY!~~
 
Stranger: HARRDDDERRRRRRR
 
You: Little boy
 
Stranger: you like LG?
 
You: everyone older than 18 knows that triple D's are a turn-off
 
Stranger: obivously
 
Stranger: cause im a future pornstar
 
You: do you shave your balls?
 
Stranger: dont have balls
 
Stranger: my ass is nice an difrm
 
Stranger: wanna feel it/
 
You: pics or gtfo
 
Stranger: wwwwwwwweeeeeeeee
 
Stranger: just google
 
Stranger: it
 
Stranger: and you can fap to it all day long
 
You: sigh
 
Stranger: my S curve
 
You: (-.-*)
 
You: How old are you anyway?
 
You: 14
 
Stranger: no
 
You: I know
 
Stranger: im older than that
 
You: 15
 
Stranger: no
 
You: unless you are ADD/retarded you cannot be older than 15
 
Stranger: nahh
 
Stranger: im a normla person
 
You: sure
 
You: Go to the institution
 
Stranger: =)
 
Stranger: closed down
 
You: keep talking
 
You: I'm opening another tab
 
Stranger: i escaped from it
 
Stranger: you CANNOT lock me up
 
Stranger: cause im SUPERMAN
 
You: And I'm a kryptonite sculpture
 
You: gtfo
 
Stranger: ..................................... ........................................,-~~'''''''~~--,,_
.................................................. ..................................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. .............................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. .............................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. .............................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ............................(_''~-': : : : : : : : :
.................................................. .............................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA
.................................................. .................................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ -----GIVE YOU UP!
.................................................. ............................,-''\':\: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ......................__,-';;;;;\:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.................................................. .............__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;\: :\: : :____/: :',__
.................................................. .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,__
................................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;\. . .''|::::::::|. .,';;;;;;;;;;''-,
................................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;\. . .\:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
.............................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;',: : __|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
...........................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;; ;;;; \. . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/
........................................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;; ;;;\. .|:::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
......................................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;;|. .\:/. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
......................................./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'',: |;|. . . . \;;;;;;;|
....................................,~'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;|.|;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
................................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |\;;;;;;;|
...............................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
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............................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;; ;|.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
............................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
......................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
......................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
...................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-\
..................,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,\_''-,''-,''~
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._'''
 
You: fail
 
You: You only do that after a cyber
 
Stranger: o
 
Stranger: how do you know?
 
Stranger: cyber before?
 
You: that's the POINT of rick-rolling on omegle
 
You: Noob
 
Stranger: WTF
 
Stranger: DONT FCLALE ME A NOOB
 
Stranger: BITCH
 
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: hey hey

Stranger: huhu

You: hulu

Stranger: who are u?

You: I am Sam

You: Sam I am

You: Do YOU want green eggs and ham?

Stranger: green eggs?

You: Why do you not?

Stranger: no i like white eggs

You: I can server them with crack n pot

You: White eggs and ham?

You: I do not approve, this Sam I am

Stranger: where u fromn

You: An egg

You: laid inside the womb of a female velocoraptor

Stranger: i want to chat with a girl =(


You: same

You: I hate men

You: They are the scum of the earth

Stranger: yeah lets fuck some girls

Stranger: how old?

Stranger: mom

Stranger: wait

lol

lol




srry for invade

It's ok
Invades in this thread aren't bad at all!

Unless your convo is totally tasteless XD

Anyway, a convo with a stripper...Yes, a stripper....

[code]
You: horny male on the loose!
Stranger: ooh okay

Stranger: how old are you?

Stranger: you sound a little... young

You: 18

You: is that young for you?

Stranger: i'm 21

You: damn

You: its just 3 years

You: when you are 64, i'll be 61

Stranger: and i work at a strip club

You: not that much older anymore, eh?

You: Mmm

You: You got pics?

You: my last gf was older than me

You: (dumped me when she found out though)

Stranger: lol haha, first of all, i don't even know who you are

Stranger: or where you're from

You: neither do you to your customers

You: Do you know all their names?

You: eh? ;)

Stranger: no, but at least they PAY for the services

You: well, that's live

You: these are pics

You: plus, you would make my day!

You: I would return the favor

Stranger: hmm, but i have no clue where you're from

You: USA

You: Tennessee

You: there

Stranger: really? how do i know if you're not lying?

You: Trust

You: Hmmmm

Stranger: hm, i'm from the South, too

You: *thinks of easy proof*

Stranger: but i dunno..

You: I visit the UT campus a lot

You: they have a huge rock on a street corner that they paint

You: they are thinking of moving it across the street next year

You: how's that?

Stranger: haha, well, i've never been to TN

You: search it up

Stranger: i have been to the Blue Ridge

You: I'm sure it's on some local news site

You: what state are you in?

Stranger: the one right beside yours

You: Georgia?

You: virginia?

You: Kentucky?

You: heck

You: which one of the 8 states?

Stranger: are you that slow?

Stranger: the major one

Stranger: you are slow

You: There are 8

You: and I consider all states equal

You: I'm guessing GA

Stranger: hahaha i don't. we only have like four states bordering mine

Stranger: nope

You: Kentucky?

Stranger: no.

Stranger: you already guessed that

You: NC?

You: yes?

You: Alabama?

Stranger: NC

You: Haha ok

Stranger: i can't believe it took you that long..

You: Well....

You: blue ridge mtns are in georgia

Stranger: whatever

You: Plus, alabama also has 4 border stats

You: states

Stranger: you border alabama?

You: Same with missouri

You: look on a map :P

You: slow one ;p

Stranger: we only border VA,TN, GA, and SC

You: yeah

Stranger: and so far we're the best

You: Pffft Naw

You: How tall are you?

Stranger: i'm like 5'4

You: did you just go measure yourself?

You: i'm 5'9"

You: are you good in your field?

Stranger: wow, you're tall

You: not really, pretty average

Stranger: and i'm great, i'm one of the 'regulars'

Stranger: i don't do part time

You: nice

You: how much?

Stranger: excuse me?

Stranger: how much what?

You: lol

You: erm.....

You: for....

You: basic bj?

You:

Stranger: lol haha, for me, it would be about a 20.

You: cool

Stranger: i'm really good at that, a lot of people ask for it

You: That's cheaper than a blu-ray

Stranger: i can go for like an hour

You: I couldn't ;o

You: do you charge more for guys who don't shave their shaft?

Stranger: yeah

You: XD

Stranger: so it would be way cheaper

Stranger: i charge double for a hairy dick

You: haha

You: how about a hairy, unwashed, vinegary dick?

Stranger: ew, don't tell me that's yours

You: no

You: I'm shaved

You: so it would be 20 for me?

Stranger: yeah

You: WOULD you even do that?

You: sweaty....

You: saggy.....

You:

You: sorry

Stranger: ewww

You: If it weren't my mouth, I would bite it off if I had to do that

You: and ask for ransom

You: ANYWAY....

Stranger: lol haha

Stranger: so what do you want?

You: pics don't seem so bad anymore, now, do they?

You: XD

Stranger: nah, i never give my pics out to a stranger. but i would cyber a stranger..

You: Hmmm

You: describe a routine then

Stranger: okay, this is what would happen if you came

Stranger: well, first, we have to get ready.

Stranger: the manager makes us wear these tight, teeny, clothes, and we start at eleven

Stranger: not too bad, but most come in at midnight

Stranger: and all the guys are getting situated, mainly drinking, and then ten girls come in

Stranger: and by come in, i mean they get on stage

Stranger: we have a lot of poles around, and i'm good at that

Stranger: but when a guy calls your name,

Stranger: you have to get down, and ask him what he needs

Stranger: if he says he wants a bj,

Stranger: then you go to one of the massage chairs in the back,

Stranger: and you close the door, and give it to him

Stranger: but we use the dental blocks.

You: dental blocks?

Stranger: they're soft, and it's a barrier

Stranger: so we don't contract anything

You: so you don't actually have it touching...yeah

You: condoms for the mouth :o

Stranger: yeah, but if they want something more, it costs 200

Stranger: you didn't know that?

You: Never been into a stripclub before

You: I'm just 18

You: haha....

You:

Stranger: oh yeahh,

You: what would 200 get them?

Stranger: well, when you do go,

Stranger: try it

Stranger: hm, it would give about 30 to 45 minutes of sex

You: dang

You: 30 if he is fat? :P

Stranger: hahahaha

Stranger: well, the minimum is 200

Stranger: we can raise it if we want to

You: nice

Stranger: and we can lower it, too

Stranger: if we like somebody,

Stranger: it all depends

You: do you get to keep most of it?

Stranger: we give about 25% to the club

You: that's pretty good....

Stranger: just to support a lot of the equipment

You: yeah

Stranger: do you have any strip clubs near you?

You: 1

You: looks run-down though

Stranger: ew

You: 20 minutes away

Stranger: i live in the Charlotte-Metro area

Stranger: we have about like five here

You: the one I saw in germany looked way better

You: :o

You: wow

Stranger: you're surprised?


Stranger: i'm surprised you have to drive 20 minutes to reach one

You: I guess so

You: it's the only one i know of

You: There may be some on the other side of town

You: haha

Stranger: lol

Stranger: mm, do you have a girlfriend?

You: did

You: until last winter

Stranger: what happened?

You: well if you scroll way up to the top

You: i mentioned we parted when she found out she was 6 months older

Stranger: ohh

You: yeah

Stranger: 6 months isn't that big a different

Stranger: *difference

You: it was to her

Stranger: she sounds like the perfectionist type

You: very

You: At least if she finds someone, she'd be happy afterwards

Stranger: yeah

You: or just never get married

Stranger: she's crazy. were you really into her?

You: I was

You: She was a lot shorter than me though

Stranger: haha

You: Maybe that contributed

Stranger: lol yeah

You: so in a stripclub, the poledancing is kinda like the advertisement?

Stranger: yeah

You: Ah

You: Didn't know that

Stranger: lol well, now you do

You: Is it free to get in?

Stranger: well, the admission is only ten dollars

Stranger: it's free past 1, though

You: that's less than the cost of a movie

You: Oh

You: Nice

Stranger: yep. it closes at 5

Stranger: but some people come early, because it's just sorta better

You: everyone is fresh?

Stranger: that's when a lot of girls are willing to do more things for less

Stranger: lol yeah

You: lol

You: I feel enlightened

Stranger: haha

Stranger: and a lot more girls are horny

You:

Stranger: so we'd charge less

You: How much do you make every day?

You: 500?

Stranger: ahaha, i'd say maybe like a thousand

You: woah

Stranger: it's easy, fast money

Stranger: and besides, we close at five

You: 11-5

Stranger: yeah

You: sounds like a pretty good job :o

Stranger: it's fun, but sometimes you just question your worth.

Stranger: but sometimes, you just get confident

You: I guess

You: but that's more money than most people I know

Stranger: lol haha. well, most of us don't work five days a week

You: making that much, you don't need too!

Stranger: it can be like three days a week.

Stranger: lol hahahaha

Stranger: you're funny

You: and the other 4 days could be used to study or practice a hobby

You: lol thanks

Stranger: lol true

You: So then once you retire, you can still enjoy life

Stranger: haha

Stranger: and being a stripper, you do exercise

You: or I guess you'd be a millionaire and not have to worry about it

You: Yes

Stranger: sex and dancing is very energizing

You: yeah, you don't see many fat strippers :3

Stranger: lol haha

Stranger: you have to be within your BMI to get in

You: lol

You: How old do they let you be though?

You: hopefully not past 50?

Stranger: haha about 40

Stranger: but i have to go

You: ok

You: cya!

Stranger: bye

You: I learned a lot

You: bye

Stranger: wait

You: yes?

Stranger: i'm not going yet

You: cool

Stranger: hm, first of all, my stripper name is Candy

Stranger: what's yours?

You: Edward

You: That's my real name though

Stranger: i like it

You: thanks

Stranger: like from the twilight series

You: Haha yes XD

Stranger: lol i read it halfway, didn't finish the other two books.

You: Have yet to read it

You: My mom bought the blu-ray though

You: Haven't watched that either

You: When it came out, it got kinda annoying

You: hearig: "Oh gawd, Edward is soooo hot"

You: and turning around to find out they were talking about twilight

You:

Stranger: lol

Stranger: awh

Stranger: hmm, i know edward from twilight is hot, but what about you?

You: I consider myself decently sexy

Stranger: lol haha

You:

You: and being allowed into a strip club, I'm assuming you are HOT

Stranger: lol duh

You: at least, if its a good one

You: Plus you make 1 grand a night

Stranger: well i have to go

You: k

code]

You realy had to post that right? :F

I accidentally mistyped the [/code]
and when I edit it, it's too long

EDIT: yes, I learned a lot

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

You: hey hey hey!

Stranger: :D

Stranger: Hey!

You: :D

You: !!!! OMGEEEEEE!!!! :D

Stranger: Do you like pineapple? :(

You: no

Stranger: Me neither! 

You: lets have cybersex!

Stranger: Yay! 
But we have to get married first! 
I don't want to loose my cybervirginity without being married! :(

You: Awww, you bitch

You: Ok

You: But it'll only be a 14 karat ring!

You: We are in a recession here!

Stranger: It's okay! 

You: Yay

You: And it's a drive-thru

Stranger: Why don't we just get married online? 

You: Drive-thru marriages are way easier!

Stranger: But if we get married online we can have cybersex in about 10 min! 

You: Screw marriage

You: Lets fuck now!

You: They won't know

Stranger: God will know!

You: There IS no god!

You: just a jesus

Stranger: Then Jesus will know. And he wont like it! 

You: dammit

You: *RAPE*

Stranger: AOWWW! 
You took my cybervirginity!

Stranger: :(

You: *beats your face*

You: Shaddup bish! Can't you see I'm trying to rape you?!

You: *RAPE*

Stranger: I'll be quiet and enjoy my rape! :(

You: you better

You: or else I'll slice one of your nipples off!

Stranger: It feel nice!

You: and stick it up your nose

You: well, now that you like it, it ain't rape no more

You: *gets out a whip*

You: *CRACK*

Stranger: It's just regular cypersex! 

You: *RAPE*

You: NO!

You: *CRACK*

You: this is rape!

You: *RAPE*

Stranger: No, I like it! I get turned on by rape! :(

You: Damn

You: then it's not rape anymore!

You: *slap*

You: YOU DON"T LIKE IT!

You: *RAPE*

Stranger: Exactly! We are just having weird sex! :

Stranger: I LIKE IT!

You: Noooooo! D:

You: not rape=turnoff

You: *cock goes limp*

You: Now I need pics before I can have weird sex D:

Stranger: We aren't married yet! :(

You: Yes we are

You: *pulls out marriage license*

You: Our rape bonded us,

You: by law of jesus

You: we are married

Stranger: But. I don't want to be married to you!
You raped me! D:

You: No, you liked it!

You: Plus, rape=marriage by law of jesus

You: Either way you look at it, we are married

You: lemme think of how to rape you even more

Stranger: I don't think I like the married life! 
I want to get divorced! 

Stranger: :(

You: No

You: You have to rape ME to get a divorce, by law of jesus!

You: But I'd like it and rape you back

You: getting us remarried!

Stranger: *RAPE* 

You: *RAPE*

Stranger: We'll be married forever! :(

You: it was meant to be!

You: Now gimme porn, bish!

You: *slap*

You: *rape*

You: notice the lowercase letters

You: that means it was not exciting rape because I was limp

Stranger: Oh dear. Our sexlife is getting boring! 

You: damn

You: Lets try anal

You: *RAPE*

You: oshit, ur bleeding!

Stranger: Oh yes!

Stranger: That's nice!

You: my cock was too large

You: TITS or GTFO! *RAPE*

Stranger: It felt good though!

You: damn

Stranger: NEVAH!

You: D:

You: *RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*RAPE*

You: rape is getting boring

You: *CUNTPUNT!*

Stranger: Indeed.
We need to find something new! 

You: I just stuck my shoe up your cunt

You: *SHOERAPE*

Stranger: That was a weird feeling.
But I think your foot would feel better! 

Stranger: Try it!

You: *FOOTRAPE*

You: TITS or GTFO BISH!

You: *FISTRAPE*

Stranger: Maybe we should try to rape other people? 
Our rapes isn't that exciting anymore. 

You: yes

You: *SEX* OSHIT!

Stranger: OH! 

You: FUCK YEAH

Stranger: Why did you surprise me like that?

You: YES YES YES

You: i dunno

You: YES YES YES

Stranger: YEAH!

You: cuz our marriage can't be based on rape alone

You: YES YES YES

You: Now stick your tongue up my butthole while I fart in your face

Stranger: You are such a good husband!

I don't want to do that! That's just gross!

You: You'll like it!

Stranger: Yeah, you're right.

You: *FART*

Stranger: Yummy!

You: *FART*

You: *SPLOOOOOSH*

You: Ugh, I have diarrhea

Stranger: Do you want a golden shower?

You: Hmmmm

You: Into my *SPLOOSH*

You: and mix it up

Stranger: That sounds pretty nice!

Stranger: OMG! 
I'm pregnant!

You: OH NOES

Stranger: Didn't you use condoms during your stupid rapes?!

You: But I used my dads!

You: ABORTION!

Stranger: OMG! 
YOU STUPID FUCK! 
What are we going to do?

Stranger: But, we could use our baby in our sexlife?
Sexslave-baby!

You: OMG

You: BABYRAPE!!!!

You: Put it into a cow to grow

You: I want to rape you more

Stranger: Why don't we try pregnantwoman rape? 

You: ewww

You: you be FAT

Stranger: You'll like it! 
It's your fault!

You: aw

You: LIPO!

You: at least your breasts won't look like grapes anymore!

Stranger: Too bad my pregnancy wont do anything to your worm between your legs!

You: Well, I had surgery!

You: It's now a snake!

You: WOOSH

Stranger: PAOW!

Stranger: Take me on the table!

You: *SWWOPSWOOOOPRWOOOOOOW*

You: SNAKERAPE

Stranger: *bite the snake*

You: AWWWRWTHWHRWHHGGGHGHG!

You: *SLAP*

You: It's regenerating, but still painful

You: *SLAP*

Stranger: *bite again*

You: WOOAOAOAOAORRRGH!

You: *PUNCH*

Stranger: YOU LIKE IT! Yes, you do! 

Stranger: AOW! :(

You: *JUDO KICK!*

You: *dick regenerates*

Stranger: When you are sleeping I will cut your snake off :(

You: oshit

You: *smashes hands*

You: *CRACK*

You: try it now, bish!

Stranger: I let the baby do that! 
When it's out! 
And he's going to be jewish!

You: FUCK!

You: I'll give him a sex change!

You: and he'll be muslim!

Stranger: No, he'll be a Jew! Why Muslim? 
I want him to be a jew!

You: So he will avoid Swine like YOU!

Stranger: But what are we going to do with you then? 

You: He's not Hindu, so bulls like me are ok

Stranger: I will kidnap him so he can be my own sexslave!

You: No!

You: NOOOOOO!

You: *cries*

You: my sexslave!

You: noooo......

Stranger: He's mine! Forever!

You: FFFFF

You: If I can't have him, neither can you! *Punches your stomach hard*

You: *PUNCH*

You: *PUNCH*

You: *PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH*

You: I think he's dead now

Stranger: Look, he's running away! 

You: oshit

Stranger: TAKE HIM

You: *STOMP*

Stranger: from behind!

You: I just crushed his skull

You: oops

You: I think it was a rat

Stranger: You could try to have sex with him anyway?

You: shit

You: no, it was his skull

You: I still need to give him a sex change

You: fuck, I'll just use you

Stranger: Make me pregnant again! 
Let's make twins!

You: *RAPERAPERAPE*

Stranger: Yay!

You: SEX

You: now gimme porn bish!

You: *SLAP*

Stranger: I don't wanna :(

You: *SLAP*

You: DO IT!

Stranger: NEVER!

You: Fine, I won't fuck you ever agan

Stranger: *RAPE* 

Stranger: I RAPED YOU!

You: SHIT

You: *Ties you up*

You: GIMME PORN BISH!

You: *SLAP*

Stranger: NO! :(

You: *SLAP*

Stranger: I'm tired :(

You: ...rape...

You: so is my dick

Stranger: *poke penis* 
Yeah, I think so too. 

You: *pokes baby fat*

Stranger: or your snake is just dead?

Stranger: :(

You: Sleeping

Stranger: No, I think it's dead. I looks kinda pale to me.

You: fffff

You: needs porn

You: D:

Stranger: someday, you'll find the porn!

You: noooooo

You: *death gurgle*

You: wah

You: I'm stil horny

You: after all the rape

Stranger: yeah, me too. 
This means only one thing. 

You suck at rape!

You: damn

You: *SEX*

Stranger: I think it's over for your pale friend in your pants. 
Sorry :(

You: Damn

You: I need a plastic surgeon

You: to give me a pussy

Stranger: Do you want to be a woman? :o

Stranger: I don't want a wife!

You: You will get my penis

You: and I will get to chop it off and use it as a dildo

Stranger: But, I don't want your stupid penis! It's to small!

You: no its not

You: It was enlarged, remember?

Stranger: but it's still to small!

You: We'll enlarge it again

You: Also, I want your tits

Stranger: so it will look like Michael Jackson? 

Why don't I just get a dildo?

Stranger: IT'S MY TITTIES!

Stranger: :(

You: CUS YOU WON"T GIMME PORN!

You: SO I GOTTA MAKE MY OWN!

You: *SLAP*

Stranger: *slap*

Stranger: MY TITS

Stranger: MINE!

You: *SLAP*SLAP*

You: I'm fukken jigglypuff!

You: *SLAP*SLAP*

You: *DOUBLESLAP*

You: *Steals your tits*

Stranger: I've been keeping a secret from you!

You: :o

You: *stares at tits*

Stranger: I'm actually a man! 

You: no dip

Stranger: Do you want chips with that?

You: Naw

You: I'll take a shake though

Stranger: okay, 10 minutes.

You: I still want your porn

Stranger: even though I'm a man?

You: not of you

You: just your porn

Stranger: MY PORN! :(

Stranger: Here's your shake!

You: FFFF

You: *SLAPS SHAKE*

You: *SLAPS FACE*

You: FFFFFFFF

You: We are still married dammit

Stranger: HAHA! I want to be married to you for the rest of my life. 
You are pretty! 

You: Thank you

You: I have your tits now

Stranger: We can be like those gaycouples! 

You: *Poses in mirror*

Stranger: Oh, that's hot!

You: I alway have your pussy

You: *Sticks dick back on*

You: *SELFRAPE*

Stranger: But...
What about me? :(

You: You are obsolete

You: you only have an asshole now

You: and that's your son

Stranger: Well, I can take a dump now if I want to. Right=

You: no

You: My rape-semen stuffed it up

Stranger: So I can't do anything? :(

You: you can puke your shit out though

Stranger: oh, that's fun!

You: not if our baby is raping your mouth with his ass

Stranger: oh no! 

You: gotta shit outta your nose now, I guess

Stranger: That doesn't sound that nice :(

You: Be prepared for a lot of nosebleeds

You: and try to get diarrhea a lot.

You: It comes out easier

Stranger: Well, this was nice. 
Let's do this some other time. 
Bye husband/wife w/e :D

Stranger: I don't wanna :(

Your conversational partner has disconnected.