Primary weapon: a cereal box to bribe them with.
Secondary weapon: RPG but seriously who needs violence when you have cereal?
Warsong: I kissed a girl by kate perry
War Shout: would you like some cereal
Transport: jetpack oshi :O
Helper: a blond prostitute. another bribing tool with teh zombies ;)
Pet: a sickly chihuahua
Fortress: (refer to primary weapon)
Strategy: bribe them with undeniable cereal then when they dont expect it send in my sickly chihuahua to finish their asses off
Last Resource: Fruity pebbles
Last words: just dont mess up my hair.