Once upon a time, there was a big hairy man named Lucy. Lucy was a man who despised meat, therefore vegetarian. And everyday, he made a vegetarian smoothy from boiled baby eyes. Eyes, of course, were important condiments to be used for his daily satanic rituals.The rituals soon went wild, when he fell into Tartarus. In Tartarus, he met Ixion, a totally hot robot girl. Together, they explored Gonorrhea, the giant island made of dicks. While exploring they encountered a clan, rulers of dicks, named Bob the ruler of dicks. They lived happily ever after.

Very nice. How about another? Anyone start us off.

A Hot Australian day beckoned

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club,

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play with orifices stretched open by

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play with orifices stretched open by toffee apples, sweet potato and

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play with orifices stretched open by toffee apples, sweet potato and a truckload of hydrogenated mistletoe.

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play with orifices stretched open by toffee apples, sweet potato and a truckload of hydrogenated mistletoe. Suddenly, a wild kangaroo appeared!

A Hot Australian day beckoned young Australian men to the neighborhood sadism and masochism club, where men went to play with orifices stretched open by toffee apples, sweet potato and a truckload of hydrogenated mistletoe. Suddenly, a wild kangaroo appeared! It was slaughtered instantly. Ow.