wish granted, but said hamster has diabetes and it is necessary for it to maintain a speed of 0.01 mph at all times. I wish I could get it on like Donkey Kong.

dude...that was disturbing, and also

Granted, but nobody wants to get it on with you, so it doesnt matter.

I wish your mom wasn't so fat.

granted, but now I'm super fit and you feel jealus.

I wish for a snow day.

granted but you get to miss school (bummer)

i wish i could do a backflip on the trampoline

granted but once you do it you slip and fall from a 50 mts height against solid concrete, break your legs and die in pain.

I wish YOU to join the U.S. army

Granted but then I invade Argentena.

I wish I could learn to be great at an instrument without ever practicing.

granted, but your instrument breaks, and you cannot afford a new one.
I wish I had a quality saxophone

Granted but you fall back and it goes right up your ass and pierces throught ur heart causing u instant death

I wish i had an endless source of coca cola FREE

(also Gub, it's argentina, not argentena... '.')

opoop sorry
wish granted, but its in your anus, and whenever you want coca cola, carbonated soda explodes from your bowels.

I wish I didnt have to dive.