Was hoping this would die cause it seems like a cycle of people saying the same thing over and over and not really answering my question but oh well.

Rage:

For the 10000th time, I get that the majority of people who say it do not mean any harm. What I'm saying is that it could still cause harm based on the context that it is used in. From how i see it, a lot of times it is used in situations that go along with stereotypes for gay men (such as being weak, ex: a person doesn't want to do something and someone else calls them gay). Some people who aren't comfortable with their sexuality and see this happening a lot could be harmed by it whether someone means harm or not. If it were some random saying that had nothing to do with actual gay people then I wouldn't really care since there are sayings such as "dick," which you mentioned, that don't have any correlation to how it is used. And even if it does, there are ones for men and women, so it's not like it's only done with one side like "gay" is.

SruX:

I definitely agree. I've seen several who are more left politically genuinely think that the gaming community is homophobic because of stuff like this, and a lot of them aren't just the ones who call anything homophobic.

I use gay to save the trouble of explaining a minor inconvenience.
I am not against gays, just don't try to convert me.
I am not religious, tbh fuck jesus.

Gay to me isn't something that describes a sexuality, unless explicitly brought up in the conversation. At that point, I use gay for any same sex relationship, male or female.

If homosexuality hasn't been brought up, or is irrelevant to the current things going on in-game/ on the forums, then gay is used to say "awe man, that sucks" or "wow, this isn't significant but irritates me".

If I were playing abd and my hand fell off, that'd be gay. I'm not saying my hand literally wants to marry the same sex. I'm saying that the situation was inconvenient.

Also, personally, more guys should be gay, then there's more straight women available. Plus it fixes population growth. Let's be honest, wouldn't it be pretty gay if the US had child birth laws like China?

It’s unavoidable to not offend anyone in your lifetime, especially nowadays. If the intent is clearly not malicious, and they’re still getting offended by a joke there’s only two things they can really do.

1. Dissociate from these people, or 2. Grow thicker skin

You can’t afford to be offended by such trivial things going into the real world.

Baphomet:

That doesn't answer my question

Hikou:

Yeah I agree. It's gotten to the point where literally calling a black person black can be considered offensive for some reason, but I don't really see this as being at that level. It just seems like the original application of gay being used how it is did have some types of malicious intents (because of how it coincides negatively with some gay male stereotypes), and other people using it could unintentionally have the same negative effect.

Everyone seems to be automatically deciding that if something is not meant to be harmful, then people shouldn't be offended, and I used to think this too, but now I disagree. In this situation, I'm saying that using the word gay to negatively attribute it to gay stereotypes could offend someone who is gay and uncomfortable with themself. It doesn't matter if the person who says it is trying to do that or not, but the fact that it's used in that way could be offensive.

And yeah I said before that there are usually two replies to this. Either people say to get over it and grow thicker skin, or they decide not to use it so the other person doesn't get offended. A lot of the time people will unintentionally offend someone in some other way and have no idea, and that is unavoidable, but this situation, all you have to do is not say a word in a specific way, so idk in my opinion it's sacrificing basically nothing in order to spare some people's feelings, so why not?

Most people who are gay and comfortable with themselves don't care about a bunch of random gamers calling things gay. I'm only thinking of the impact it could have on people who aren't comfortable with it, which they would eventually grow out of once they become comfortable. I feel like everyone is much more easily offended by negative things said about things that they're uncomfortable with, so in this situation, I don't think it can be compared to "trivial things going into the real world."

^^ Someone please respond to all of this instead of telling me again about how you don't think it is offensive bc people don't mean to be offensive

@Budsi, you ninja'd me. This is a response to your other post.


In real life, when I'm in a public scenario and I know there's a gay person present (or someone I think might be gay), I'll refrain from using gay as a substitute from dumb/girly.

As you say, even if I'm intending no harm, the gay person isn't going to feel great over the usage of the word in that way. Unless I know the gay person and I know they wouldn't get offended, I wouldn't use it irl.

Online, my manners slip. I don't go around calling things gay, but I'm definitely less considerate towards people (as most people are online). This is just the nature of the internet. If I were dumb or 10 years younger, I'd probably use 'gay' all the time when referring to things.


Pfft. Cause that's a real problem... Evangelical gays, knocking on your doorstep, always preaching the pleasures of anal play. Righto.
-------
To clarify Budsi's distinction - Just because free speech exists, doesn't mean that you /should/ go around firing your 'free speech laser', not caring who/what it hits. If people used 'white' or 'male' as a synonym for stupid, white males would (rightly) be entitled to feeling upset about that. When you've got a dick (/right) as big as 'FREE SPEECH', you need to be careful with it, or you'll end up hurting someone. Who enjoys hurting people? Not nice people.


/thread

Aahhh thank you for the reply Ele; I greatly appreciate it and completely agree.

And yeah, everyone’s anonymous online, so it’s easy to say things that you normally wouldn’t in person. I’m just that person who wants everyone to stop being so mean to each other cause it’s pointless lol. But specifically with calling things gay, it makes sense to avoid saying it around someone who is gay, but on the internet, the things you say publicly can be seen by anyone, so you never know who it might affect. But I guess the anonymity or irdk what exactly just leads people to not really care about that as much. I’m definitely guilty of saying some things I normally wouldn’t too, but overall I try to be nice to people which is often not the case online.

Best thing is you don't think about it. The people that use gay as an insult don't.

But if you still want to think about it, here's my opinion: Gay, just as many other insults that come from racistic or sexistic contexts are supposed to give you a picture of the cliche person. Gay people, just as hetero and lesbian people, as well as blacks, whites, asians etc. have certain roles in society. There are prejudices for each of those. Using a human trait as an insult means you just fit in one of these roles and you could be one of those cliche persons.

Oaky:

I don't think about it, but some people might not be able help but be offended by it.

Yeah that is why people use it, but that doesn't mean they should. Ele's example of how most people don't go around calling things straight and white a lot shows this really well. There are some people who have used straight and white in a negative way (more often with white) exactly how gay is used, and there are always many straight/white people who get mad. I would argue the same that people shouldn't use those in a negative way either. These uses of those words just create a toxic environment for everyone.

Offense is taken, never given.
I could never offend you or anyone if you or they choose not to be offended.

To be offended from something is a choice, not a situation you're stuck in.

Crimson:

That kind of seems like the core argument of this debate.

I respect your opinion, but I don't agree. I think for some people that is the case because they have self confidence, but for people who don't, they can't help but be offended by some things. I know in the past I've experienced this on other topics and actively tried not to be offended by things, but even trying not to i couldn't help but feel shitty.

Also I feel like having that kind of mindset can lead to a lot of toxicity. If no one can ever be offensive and its always the person affected by its fault, then that leads people to think they can say whatever they want and expect no repercussions because it isn't their fault if they offend someone.