"He that is of the opinion "money will do everything" may well be suspected of doing everything for money." - Benjamin Franklin.

"All you have to do is get some good grass, and we will smoke it everyday for 600 years." - I wish I knew who said this.

"You can't expect the unexpected, it's simply impossible." - Kradel/Victor

Kurt Vonnegut has some great ones.

“Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.”

“I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different.”

'American Pie' (1999)
This one time in band camp, I stuck my flute in my pussy

"What I want, Cloud, is to sail the cosmos with this planet as my vessel."
Sephiroth

or the one in my sig

It's not when to take a life, but when not to. ~The Hobbit; gandalf

Smoke Weed Ev'ryday~
-Snoop Dogg

can your dick touch you asshole~grandad

"I'm Harder than DJ Khaled playing the fuckin' quiet game"

i luaghed too hard at that