So once again I managed to stand out and offend someone. I'm probably really talented at being awkward or saying something that will offend others. I don't do it on purpose, though. So like my friend went to sleep after getting drunk and somebody drew some shit on his body and face. He wakes up and starts talking about how it will be awkward to be in public like that. Lets call him Anon. This girl is sitting next to him resting or some shit. It was the middle of the night and people already had reached the point where it was hard to find anything to drink. I'm just sitting by them and chilling with other mates while being drunk. So Anon says that he looks ugly with the writings while still being a bit drunk. (He wasn't asleep for a long time) just some small talk. He overreacted as usual while being drunk. And the girl said that he actually looks attractive. And then she said: "Don't worry I have a lot of things written on my body too". She just had some stupid things written on legs and arms and nobody forcefully wrote it. So I had a thought to help my friend out and be a bro. At that time I thought I was a genius and I'll make my friend score a chick. She was probably a 7.5/10, a bit hot, really easy and slutty so it seemed like a bright idea. She already made out with a dude who passed out and the dude wasn't anything special or tried to score her. They were just sitting next to each other and randomly she made out with him. That is how easy she was. So basically I just said: "hey, it seems like you two have a lot in common. So you could spend a bit of time in private now." My memory is foggy so it was something along those lines. She asked me what I just said. Somehow I managed to read the atmosphere and responded that it was nothing much and meaningless. Obviously she heard everything. She got so mad. She stood up and threatened to beat me up or something. My friends around me were so confused and remained quiet. I just saw everyone sitting in awe with awkward smiles. She kept raging at me, telling that she will knock me out and call her friends to help her. I knew that she was talking about the dude who had passed out, some other girl who was there and a guy who was one of the friendliest motherfuckers I've ever met. Somehow I wasn't concerned with it as I was in good terms with everyone else although she could have charged at me. While being tired and a bit drunk I didn't care about being beaten up. I tried to be considerate and try not to laugh until someone else broke the tension and started another conversation. My mates were on the same page. So Anon started overreacting that his face was a mess and we had a chance to laugh it off. The girl stopped raging and just left and we didn't see her much anymore. I guess she dealt with it. I proved my friends once again that I manage to get people offended unintentionally. These kind of things happen way too often with me. Well at least I tried to be a good wingman.
Some time after this incident she was going to a more quiet place with the dude she made out with. He finally woke up and they had some distance between them so for some reason I thought she won't hear what I say. We were old classmates with the dude and I hadn't seen him for 5 years so I tried being friendly and teasing him like in the old days. They were going outside to do stuff by the lake. Probably the only place they can be completely alone. She was a bit ahead and when he was passing by me I just said: "hey welcome back, don't forget to use protection." He laughed a bit, other mates were giving winks and stuff. And I thought that I was talking in a way that the girl couldn't hear it but boy I was so wrong about it. At that time there were a bit more people around so she was probably embarrassed to hit me and she would have a hard time to get through some people who were in her way. So she just threatened me the same way as before and left with the dude. Not sure if anything happened between them though. This time I really thought that I will get smacked. I've been getting in these situations quite often. But usually I don't get threats like that.