I wasted all that money on a bumpmap head texture because i got told somewhere that it makes your textures look 3d
so i bought it and it does nothing when i upload an image to it. Am i doing something wrong, or is it just glitchy or do i need shaders?... please help.

It needs to be a grayscale image. The whiter the part of the image, the further the part will stick out. Darker parts will indent. Look around tutorials for more help.

How would bumpmap work for this head texture. This is the one im using as a bumpmap at the moment.

Well, you should open the texture, make a layer above it, and draw whichever shade of grey you want for the parts you want to stick out, in, so on. You could even convert your image to greyscale and see what happens. Just make sure to delete the original layer first though.

Well thats not a bumpmap, thats an original texture.
Also nope, you dont need grayscale, you need bluescale (for example /dl me and look in my custom folder)

And the bumpmaps dont work at the moment, but they will work.

When will the bumpmaps work again and what do you mean by make a layer above it.

The bumpmaps will work with the next versions, probably.
Also try out crazybump, that makes bumpmaps too, you dont particularly need gimp or photoshop.
Though they have bumpmap maker plugins too.

Crazybump?

Thats a bumpmapping program, works pretty good with Toribash.
Also if you wanna find out more about bumpmaps, PM avwave, he knows how to deal with them.