Ok, now this one is gold.
I tried to do a strange move, and was surprised by the results. It made me go to pieces when I saw it.
I didn't win.
(I don't know why, but my failures are often hilarious.)

what the hell? I wonder why you fell apart so easily.. That failure was pretty funny.

My elbows hit my pecs, and popped off the entire arm. My pelvic thrust led my legs into his embrace, snapping them off.

...

I never thought it could happen again... but... I misclicked a joint and... well... similiar results. In the same hour. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was really bad at this game. I'm mostly mediocre, with bursts of hilarity.

Dude.. We all start there. Just keep playing and you'll get better.. Trust me. It just takes time and practice.

We all start by accidentally suiciding in multiplayer?

That's where we all start.