Okay, Toribash won't let me choose between relax and hold anymore, only contract and extend, what the heck?!

Hover your cursor over the joint and press X.

I usually like to click on the joint to get relax or hold. Can you help me with that? Clicking?

go to setup then options and set mouse buttons to 1

Try options, then set mouse buttons to one.

EDIT

Fuuuuu ninja'd.

There we go! That worked!

Setup>Options > Mouse button >Change the value to "1"