Imagine this situation: You've done some sort of horrible crime, and the only way you will avoid the death penalty or life in jail is if you're clinically insane.

I imagined this up and was quite amused. You are sitting in a room with your lawyer, with him asking you whether or not you did it, so he can better defend you. You tell him you don't know.

Later on, several days perhaps, you're sitting in court, nodding your head constantly. Finally, the judge asks you how you plead. You cut your lawyer off and sing ride the lightning by metallica:

Guilty as charged
But damn it, it ain't right
There's someone else controlling me
Death in the air
Strapped in the electric chair
This can't be happening to me

Who made you God to say?,
I'll take your life from you

Flash before my eyes
Now it's time to die
Burning in my brain
I can feel the pain
Wait for the sign
To flick the switch of death
It's the beginning of the end
Sweat, chilling cold
As I watch death unfold
Consciousness my only friend

My fingers grip with fear
What am I doing here?

Flash before my eyes
Now it's time to die
Burning in my brain
I can feel the pain


Someone help me
Oh please, God help me
They're trying to take it all away
I don't want to die


Someone help me
Oh please, God help me
They are trying to take it all away
I don`t want to die

Time moving slow
The minutes seem like hours
The final curtain call I see
Im through with this
Just get it over with
If this is true, just let it be

Wakened by a horrid scream
Freed from this frightening dream

Flash before my eyes
Now it's time to die
Burning in my brain
I can feel the pain

I'm certain that people will try to cut you off, or maybe a gavel followed by "Silence! Order in the court!", but, keep it up.

Anyways, when you finish, avoid smiling or laughing. Continue nodding your head. When asked if that was a confession, reply:

"A confession? For what?"

In all likelihood the next question will be "Have you been paying attention?" or "Do you know where you are?".

The reply will be "Sorry, your honor, I haven't, I was listening to enter sandman and master of puppets, and was unable to hear you."

"Well, why can you hear me now?"

"Because harvester of sorrow is a really quiet song, nowhere near as intense as the previous songs."

"Well, why were you singing a song?"

"Because ride the lightning is my favorite song."

Objective 1: court de-railed. Check!

Objective 2: Give off the air of someone with schizophrenia. Check!

I thought up of this while imagining that "Joker" retard singing riding the lightning in court.

Or of course you could always start singing lyrics from Lou Reed/Metallica's wonderful hit 'The View', right?

I AM THE TABLE

but you should sing this song instead