Wrote a new poem. Posted this in the off-topic subforum, but it seems really inactive. All you have to do is tell me what you think my poem is about, so that I can see if I have written it successfully

Fakeness, which prevails 
is not suited to one
or the preference of two
but in masses, in unison
it exists in a great few:

Its brandishers who broadcast their grandstand intent
who proclaim and parade yet conceal discontent;
a more fictious assumption than a real detriment.
To many, it discomforts, it aches and annoys
Their ambition in direction not of intellectual poise.

Its fraudulence and persistence
they just use to convince.
Blinding society upon first-time insistence.
Yet we applaud and approve and encourage compliments
glorifying their ascendancy from long time since.

However,
They change, they improve, they unveil long-hidden truth.
We empathize, we care, and miraculously we deduce:
That which was hidden on our first impression
Hatches through personal and emotional digression.

In their wake, we realize they are content and humble
But in concentration, we notice them barren and troubled.
From ambition to regret, we should have foreseen
Our sympathy, our hate, while the latter is lessened
We know, now, that there is no better stance than double.

We feel like them now, its effectiveness mere.
With their envied fortunes, we suddenly revere:
We can do it ourselves, we just need to know how
And so we lie, waiting,
until our lives are crystal clear.

1300 TC to the person who can analyse this and explain it correctly!


PS: It's not a deep topic the poem is about, it's actually about something we see everyday, something very... mainstream

A kid in a toy store getting to choose one thing, but doesn't know what to get.

It's nothing like that haha, it's a more generalized and opinionated thing that my poem is about. The word "mainstream" should give you a clue. Think about people.

If I were to say what it reminded me of it would be what I generalize as fags. Which would mean idiots who try to be cool by having expensive clothing, the latest iPhone and a fucking sock on their head which litteraly stands on their heads, thinking they're better than everyone else.

You are definitely on the right lines. Can you elaborate on it a bit more? What type of people are most likely to be "successful" by creating a fake perception of themselves, believing in it, and in turn also making society believe in it? ("Yet we applaud and approve and encourage compliments.")

Edit: Added a new verse before the final one. I feel it ended too quickly ;)

I got from it that with all the mass media that we are a bit too influnced to the lies of things that they seem the truth, but the second someone DOES tell the truth we don't believe them. I also got it has a meaning of sense of secruity, not to actually believe everything you see but not to dismiss everything just because you think you might have better judgement. Also that if you can find a happy medium between your thoughts and the thoughts of others your life will be grand. I anywhere in the ball park?

You are everywhere in that ballpark! It seems I have definitely written it properly then. However, the part about when one of these fake media folk tell the truth, we do not believe them and have no regard for their thoughts. However, on the last two verses I can bluntly summarize that it reflects on it as a whole and the narrator (me) surmises the situation on a huge scale: It is that most people with an ambition "not of intellectual poise" actually turn out successful anyway, regardless of how much they try to be someone else and, by extension, the small fraction of people who can see right through them. That is what the opening lines denote; in a few people, they dislike fakeness and their friends may not like it either ("nor in the preference of two.") Yet, most people do like this and is pretty much their reason for fame.

TL;DR - This poem depicts that it's not much of a bad idea to drift from the norm.

turn it into a rap so i can understand it

I won btw guys because I'm awesome and understand the harsh reality of this world.

I realize the harsh reality of this world better than you, because I'm Vodka.

David Moderated Message:

+1