Vodka. Named after a popular beverage dating back to the 9th century, he relates in a few ways to the side effects of the drink: just as vodka would turn you into a faggot, Vodka himself is indeed a faggot; one who is looking at a thread about two non-existent essays regarding Facade and Kingsta. Vodkas faggotry does indeed date back to the day he was born, and he is so faggoty that he makes faggots look less faggoty than they really are. Him being the faggot that he is, he decided to help cure my boredom by giving me express permission to call him a faggot. My deep thanks goes without saying.
Signed, Deceptive.
Yours faithfully. Faggot.
Its a letter not an essay. SUE ME.