On 18, 2008 of the year August, we shall have tea. The following day we eat anyone wearing purple clothes. Then we get into tanks, drive a mile away from each other, and start firing random shells into the air. First one to hit the other tank gets a 5 second head start in the 1 legged race.

In the one legged race, you will be hogtied and forced to compete in the Boston marathon using your penis only. We shall also set down bear traps, landmines, barbed wire, and floating thumbs. Your penis will be painted to resemble an illusion that looks like a 3-D steak; as a result, several Dobermen and Rottweilers we will be taking for a walk that morning which have been starved the previous week may attack.