Original Post
How do I get out of my Melancholia ?
That's it, i'm mostly done.
I'te been around 5/6 years. Being depressed, then reached the state of Melancholia, barely hanging on for my small circle of friends and familly.
I'm scaring people "Why does he never smile ? What is that look he got ?", meeting people and making good friends is starting to get harder and harder. I got the feeling that if my life end, that would be a way to free myself, but on the other hand, I do not want to leave the people that love me.
This states of mood H24/7 is killing me from the inside.
Where did it begins ?...
Something like 7 years ago...I was in a new country, new school. It turned bad, really bad. I got bullied and abused, physically and mentally. They called me name, they put me apart, like a strange animal because i was "different" , i was quieter, and more calm.
I lived like this for 4 years, never told anyone, till the end, when we where moving out to another country. I was really broken, more broken than I am right now, without the help of some people, I will still be in the state I was 3 years ago. I came to a new country again, new school, maybe an opportunity to free my mind.
I was mute, and I stayed mute for almost 2 years, I spoke sometimes, rarely, to some people that acted nice to me, that weren't afraid of the boy hiding under his hood (No matters how the wheater was).
Then i swapped again school. This year was probably the best Year i add in the last 8 years of my small life. I met some good people, people that tried their best to get me more smiling. People i listenned to and gave advice, they found in me a shy boy that was kind and saying what he was thinking without judging them, and i found in them , in those people, friends that could give me a hug if i said loud i wasnt feeling alright.
Even so, i'm still not smilling, i'm still too shy, still afraid of the crowd and some people, i'm afraid to live again the nightmare that was my life for 6 years.
The only thing that calm me down and help me out in the worst moment is music, i wish i could find someone that make me feel the way music does. I wish i could get better, that i could remove that frikin mask i used to wear to protect myself from the look of the people over me.
I'm depressive, more than depressive. And I want to get better without using any sorts of Medical treatment. I met great people on Toribash too, so that's a big part of the reason i've posted this. I believe that the toribash community isnt a community filled with 12 yo' kid just good at being rude and mocking people for who they are.
Maybe I fucked up a bit while redacting (Like how i Organizated it) this post, English isn't my mother tongue, I did what i could.
I'te been around 5/6 years. Being depressed, then reached the state of Melancholia, barely hanging on for my small circle of friends and familly.
I'm scaring people "Why does he never smile ? What is that look he got ?", meeting people and making good friends is starting to get harder and harder. I got the feeling that if my life end, that would be a way to free myself, but on the other hand, I do not want to leave the people that love me.
This states of mood H24/7 is killing me from the inside.
Where did it begins ?...
Something like 7 years ago...I was in a new country, new school. It turned bad, really bad. I got bullied and abused, physically and mentally. They called me name, they put me apart, like a strange animal because i was "different" , i was quieter, and more calm.
I lived like this for 4 years, never told anyone, till the end, when we where moving out to another country. I was really broken, more broken than I am right now, without the help of some people, I will still be in the state I was 3 years ago. I came to a new country again, new school, maybe an opportunity to free my mind.
I was mute, and I stayed mute for almost 2 years, I spoke sometimes, rarely, to some people that acted nice to me, that weren't afraid of the boy hiding under his hood (No matters how the wheater was).
Then i swapped again school. This year was probably the best Year i add in the last 8 years of my small life. I met some good people, people that tried their best to get me more smiling. People i listenned to and gave advice, they found in me a shy boy that was kind and saying what he was thinking without judging them, and i found in them , in those people, friends that could give me a hug if i said loud i wasnt feeling alright.
Even so, i'm still not smilling, i'm still too shy, still afraid of the crowd and some people, i'm afraid to live again the nightmare that was my life for 6 years.
The only thing that calm me down and help me out in the worst moment is music, i wish i could find someone that make me feel the way music does. I wish i could get better, that i could remove that frikin mask i used to wear to protect myself from the look of the people over me.
I'm depressive, more than depressive. And I want to get better without using any sorts of Medical treatment. I met great people on Toribash too, so that's a big part of the reason i've posted this. I believe that the toribash community isnt a community filled with 12 yo' kid just good at being rude and mocking people for who they are.
Maybe I fucked up a bit while redacting (Like how i Organizated it) this post, English isn't my mother tongue, I did what i could.
French Player, Old member of OFRO
I'm not in any clubs, actually there's no club at all, only some kind of sport you can subscribe too and do after school some afternoon.
I've gotten good in art since it was my only way to have my own "shelter" , creating my own world in my mind, with music, drawing...etc.
I'm in a club out of school, doing natation since 2/3 years, i'm already at a competitive level.
I've gotten good in art since it was my only way to have my own "shelter" , creating my own world in my mind, with music, drawing...etc.
I'm in a club out of school, doing natation since 2/3 years, i'm already at a competitive level.
French Player, Old member of OFRO
All your problem is that you barely trust anyone, even those who you think you trust, you still afraid that's why you're shy.
My advice?
Hang with them around me, get to know each other more, no need for clubs to hang out with your friends, all you need is a good place sit together and talk, you can even tell them about your problem, and wait for the results, you've went kind of very selective-social person, that's all, but you seem like an interesting person anyways, I'm not saying this because I want you to feel better only, but I truly feel this, probably you yourself don't know yourself well, what you're good in.
My advice?
Hang with them around me, get to know each other more, no need for clubs to hang out with your friends, all you need is a good place sit together and talk, you can even tell them about your problem, and wait for the results, you've went kind of very selective-social person, that's all, but you seem like an interesting person anyways, I'm not saying this because I want you to feel better only, but I truly feel this, probably you yourself don't know yourself well, what you're good in.
Proud member of Thief
Originally Posted by ClownDevil
All your problem is that you barely trust anyone, even those who you think you trust, you still afraid that's why you're shy.
My advice?
Hang with them around me, get to know each other more, no need for clubs to hang out with your friends, all you need is a good place sit together and talk, you can even tell them about your problem, and wait for the results, you've went kind of very selective-social person, that's all, but you seem like an interesting person anyways, I'm not saying this because I want you to feel better only, but I truly feel this, probably you yourself don't know yourself well, what you're good in.
You're probably right...
I already have 2 friends that know i have issues and are sometimes gettin to the main topic everytime i seem to not speak out loud of the problem...
I also have a huge problem trusting my own capacities / myself, and i tried to fix this problem with sport (natation) to get a better body and more self esteem, work on most parts.
For my shyness degree...I'm sometimes afraid of saying hello to people i know, i can't go see them and be "Hey, What's up ! How you doin ?". I just can't. Have to force myself sometimes to do it, it doesnt happen with just some people (Like 5/6 people , family not included).
Last edited by HawkeyeTFA; Jun 12, 2016 at 05:00 AM.
French Player, Old member of OFRO
