can i get a step by step tutorial on how to get and showcase a flame ingame. (so other people see it aswell)

if its about forging, you can't do much more than taking a screenshot.

if you want to show it to others in multiplayer you need to own the flame and have it activated.

how do i do that? have it activated

well, from what i can see you dont own a flame atleast you dont have one in your inventory.
http://forum.toribash.com/tori_inventory.php?
anyways if you do, just go there and activate the flame, afterwards it should be visible in-game to everyone.
also possibly you dont have "particles" enabled in your options so you dont see them.
click on setup>options>advanced and activate "particles"