Originally Posted by xXSJXx

in "COCAINE (PROD. EZ THE ARCHMAGE)" there are something that's clipping, or maybe it's the mic, I'm not sure, but it's really annoying

Originally Posted by xXSJXx

Now, this is gonna sound rude but hear me out, you should check out an auto tune plugin, the vocals are off key and it'll be easier to practise if you can hear and match.

Originally Posted by xXSJXx

The 808 it alright, don't really see any problems with that, the kick is good, just a little low and I'm not sure if you layerd it with the 808 but if you did, did you sidechain the 808 to the kick if not you should. you should also try to let the kick be around 0db and make it cut a little bit better through the mix.

Originally Posted by xXSJXx

I was only able to listen to one of the other songs "Blunted Freestyle [Prod. By Emani]"
It was, a lot better, I can't really see any faults in it tbh, I don't really listen to rap/hip hop too much so. Anyway, I like it a lot better.

Originally Posted by Ocean

i'm just going to preface this by saying i'm not sure 100% of what i said actually hit you. when i say emphasis and tone, i mean stressing words//syllables, dynamics (volume), pitch, range, and timbre. there's so much room for creative experimentation there, but there's also an accepted pattern. Stressing things strange isn't cool or experimental, it's just awkward.


Lets see well i'm very 'hyper-aware' of what I'm writing. I cant believe you would even say I dont have the heart for it. Otherwise I wouldn't be making music. Everything I say I have been through, you should have 'the ear' for what i'm saying and you'll under stand the 'emphasis'.

...

I would say it would be hard to criticize if you haven't made a song yourself with 'emphasis and enunciation' because I could always scream and ruin the song. I say words 'strange' to you because that's the way I sound... its me.

I wasn't presuming anything with my saying that you need heart. I was just stating, if you're serious about making the best music you can, you need to be striving to make yourself better. Imo you should be hearing a lot of the emphasis (see above, again) issues that I'm hearing. I sincerely doubt you speak with such an uneven cadence.

Stealing a bit from one of the songs you posted below, Lil Wop has zero of the emphasis issues I'm hearing from you. He has a much more even, monotone emphasis. It's not as interesting as some other more dynamic rappers, but there is far less room to go wrong.


If you don't like fag then my bad for insulting you.

Actually I love fags.




The word is just cringey.


For instance every drug or line I said in Cocaine was what I was under making the song. "Back in the day I'll sniff a gram to face..." Its suppose to sound sad, soft and depressing. My music isn't normally like that.

...

Lastly chief if you wanna go record yourself saying cocaine go ahead and do it. 'you don't have a lot of confidence on the mic'... No I think I do, I'm embarrassed about my passed so its great to get shit off my chest. Explain how it sounded like shit. Every word was on key and went fluidly into the next line. Its suppose to have a nostalgic feel. Its suppose to sound scary and like i'm scared because i'm scared for myself right now, think about it.

I don't want to pidgeon-hole you into a box here, but I'm going to just use Danny Brown as a reference here. Danny Brown is one of my favourite rappers, and most of his subject matter is fucked up shit. Growing up disadvantaged, drugs, etc. He tackles these subjects, vocally, in extraordinarily unique and often diverse ways. In Atrocity Exhibition you can hear him change his voice on a dime song to song. Tell Me What I Don't Know and From The Ground are in a very subdued, less dynamic and deeper sonically voice from most the rest of the album, because he wanted to point out that he's saying serious shit. Ain't It Funny wouldn't make any sense without his vocals being how they are on that track. On XXX, 30, you can hear the change dynamically throughout the song.

It might not be to your taste, but absolutely nothing about how he vocalizes these different moods and themes sounds awkward.


As for "every word... went fluidly into the next line." it's just not really true. Maybe rhythmically you're good, but your emphasis (see above, again) is totally off.


Junkie was my worst song so that's how I know you have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't even write one word. It was all a freestyle between me and my buddies in which we all made a song that night all fucked up.

Man I think you misunderstand, I definitely was not saying absolutely anything good about that song whatsoever.


If you're going to criticize me for having a 5th grade vocabulary then look back at what you typed and go to Thesaurus.com.

There's nothing wrong with using common and understandable words. what i had issue with was you used completely commonplace, simple words, then threw pretentious shit like "but to my dismay." It sounded awkward as fuck.

also what the fuck lmao


'rhymes are anything but generic' Go listen to the radio... when have you heard a word of 3 syllables included in mainstream rap. I could give a fuck less.

Hey man I'm just saying... there's nothing particularly redeeming about your bars. They're average. There's nothing particularly wrong with average, and there are plenty of artists with average/subpar lyrics that get away with it because of great flows, great production, and great artistry.


e: just to add a bit onto slurring and mumbling words - imo a good place to draw the line is some ski mask the slump god type shit. for me it took a little bit before i could get used to understanding his rapping but it's definitely understandable. If the whole first bar of cocaine was slurred no goddamn way would I have understood it. I had to guess from context.