Okay, so here's going to be our own shitpost story thread. Basically just read a few posts to get the jist and add onto it with at least 5 sentences.

I'll begin with:


One fateful day, as I stumbled upon this shit show called Toribash, I realized I no longer had any chance at having a life. I'm spending thousands upon thousands of hours in-game, then finally I stop and ask myself "y tho?" Trying to justify my time wasted here, I compliment the complexity of the game. Ironically enough, can't even enjoy the game's complexity whenever you consider all the glitches and toxicity in the community. That's why recently I decided I want to ..... (continue someone)

... start selling meth on the side, like my good buddy Gang, to help fill the void that this game has created. I figured, "Hey, if Toribash both consumes all of my free time and makes me irrationally depressed, maybe creating some side money and hustle will bring me good spirits?". So with that, I started producing meth in my garage, and selling it to locals in my neighborhood. Eventually, I started also having clients from Toribash, and well ...

... after underaged kids started asking me about selling meth to them, i realized i took it a step to far. This was also the moment, i changed my mind and let it be with selling meth. But since i couldn't stop it at all, after being aware of i actually gave me a bit of good spirit back, i just decided to switch and started selling mj. It made me think less and i also begun getting good ingame again, i wasn't overthinking too much anymore irl as ingame. I took off one head after another, made one DM after another, it was almost equal to the rythm of lighning up a joint, which i did a lot. Now that things started to change and my cold hard was melting, the only thing i was missing now was a relationship with a ...

..... large bear, humans just don't cut it anymore. After years of sleeping with women and not getting any satisfaction I have decided to given to my deepest passion... Fornication with bears. I had saved up a good amount of money selling meth and weed so now the only question was which bear.
Polar Bear, Black bear, Grizzly bear, Koala Bear.. So many choices. I'll give myself a few days to gather my thoughts and make my final decision. Till Then I have no idea what else to do to take up my time other than.....